tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-64107793103892359122024-03-13T03:12:39.291-07:00FREYA BARRINGTONI am an ex child protection social worker turned author. Through this social work related blog I hope to share relevant issues for social workers, students and anyone who works with, or has contact with childrenAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15760251169259291895noreply@blogger.comBlogger61125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6410779310389235912.post-36558560658835804552016-11-04T06:02:00.001-07:002016-11-04T06:12:15.471-07:00The Two Faces of Thailand; Child Trafficking for the Sex Trade in Thailand<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<u><span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Thailand<o:p></o:p></span></u></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">What springs to mind when someone mentions
Thailand?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Beautiful beaches, clear waters, stunning temples
with almost unbelievable architecture?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">For me, the thought of Thailand conjures up a very
different image.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">The modern face of Thailand</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">A vast country, with once proud roots, I was
inspired to use Thailand as a location for my latest novel. Titled <i>Caught in Traffick,</i> the book centres on
the complex and dangerous world of child sex trafficking in Thailand. I chose
Thailand, due to its reputation as a sink hole of depravity. A reputation,
which in my opinion, is well-deserved. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Human Trafficking – An Overview<o:p></o:p></span></u></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">The trafficking of human beings is not a new
problem. It dates back many millennia and continues to grow at an alarming
level. Trafficking takes many forms; adults are trafficked for many reasons,
including; the sex trade, forced labour, illegal organ donation, forced
marriage, debt bondage, and domestic servitude. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Girls who are little more than children are sold into the sex trade</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Children are trafficked for the child sex trade,
forced labour and illegal adoptions. They are also recruited and forced to
serve in lesser known schemes, such as illicit sports and gambling activities. Children
are also recruited for children’s armies where, amongst other things, they
serve as dispensable suicide bombers. Unbelievable but true. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">A young girl recruited into someone's personal army</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Conservative estimates put the figure of adults and
children currently enslaved by human trafficking at an astonishing 29 million;
27% of this number are children. Human
trafficking has now surpassed the sale of illegal arms in terms of criminal
activity, and is a growing international problem surpassed only by the drug
trade. It is big business for those involved, generating over $10 billion in
illegal revenue. The laws currently in place to protect victims are numerous
and complex. Statistic vary, but it is agreed that few perpetrators are brought
to justice. A 2007 US State Department report put the figure at approximately 1
in 800 people. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Child Sex Trafficking in Thailand<o:p></o:p></span></u></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">While I am aware that children are sexually
exploited the world over; there are few places on earth that they are more
vulnerable and less protected by their own Government than in Thailand. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Young girls on the street approached by a punter</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">The children’s charity <i>The Sold Project</i> estimates that there are around 60,000 children
involved in the commercial sex trade in Thailand*. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Girls outside a sex club await "clients"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Thailand’s reputation as a place where one can go
and indulge in sexual activity with children with little chance of redress,
makes it a magnet for paedophiles. Those
responsible for supplying these depraved men (or women) with their wretched
victims are well-organised, cunning and arrogant. Safe in the knowledge that to
avoid prosecution, all that is required is a well-placed bribe; they continue
their heinous trade unchecked and unchallenged. The children come from a
variety of sources. Poor local families who have debts, which they can never
hope to repay, are often forced to sell their children to these gangs. Other
parents believe that their children are going to a better life, with an education
or a job prospect. This is almost never the case. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">The streets teem with sex workers</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Less common, is the abduction of children who are
then forced into prostitution. Some of these children are those of holiday
makers, and while rare, it does happen. There are an average of seven non Thai children
a year who are kidnapped in Thailand. Whether the children are locally sold, or
dramatically abducted, a similar fate awaits them all.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">A high percentage of the ill-fated children will be
sold into prostitution and while prostitution is officially illegal in
Thailand, it is estimated that the trade is worth around $6.4 billion per
annum, making it an essential part of the Thai economy. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Bright lights and sex workers</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Many children will die in service to the gangs who own them.
Many contract sexually transmitted diseases, which are not treated. Others will
die from botched abortions, while some will die from violence at the hands of
their captors or clients. Many children
are simply thrown out on the streets once they have outlived their usefulness.
Unable to survive alone, they soon succumb to hunger, cold and illness. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Government Response<o:p></o:p></span></u></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Corruption and organised crime undermine even the
best anti-trafficking efforts; so, why don’t the Government and the police do
something about it?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-tnXeMVkL1yc/WBx5iJI52mI/AAAAAAAACy0/5DBzfjJmwYEycGiAdf_LPrW946Yoi_cUACEw/s1600/nintchdbpict000256014984-e1470086190928.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="215" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-tnXeMVkL1yc/WBx5iJI52mI/AAAAAAAACy0/5DBzfjJmwYEycGiAdf_LPrW946Yoi_cUACEw/s320/nintchdbpict000256014984-e1470086190928.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Sex worker being questioned</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Consider that at the time of writing, the average
police officer in Thailand earns approximately £163 per MONTH at entry level,
rising to only £350 a month for a more senior officer. In addition, they have
to buy their own uniform, guns, and even bullets! It is small wonder they lack
motivation, and have a reputation for being corrupt and easy to bribe.</span></div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rMEoNdqF9mI/WBx5ibzh0pI/AAAAAAAACy0/lH5_IC8wVCE40zVJUsFDLqWSXTPmt3WywCEw/s1600/nintchdbpict000256015168-e1470086860845.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="210" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rMEoNdqF9mI/WBx5ibzh0pI/AAAAAAAACy0/lH5_IC8wVCE40zVJUsFDLqWSXTPmt3WywCEw/s320/nintchdbpict000256015168-e1470086860845.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p></o:p></span><span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Pattaya Police Station</span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">A 2008 article in The Economist noted;<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"> “In
Thailand’s most sensational crimes, the prime suspects are often the police”.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Some efforts have been made;<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">In 2015, the Government brought charges against 34
officials, including those in mid to high posts. The Government also
investigated five cases where officials accepted bribes. It is a start, but it
is nowhere near enough. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">The Government’s efforts to protect potential
victims of trafficking are inadequate. In 2015, 720 people were identified as
at risk from trafficking. This in a country where tens of thousands of people
are trafficked; it is a drop in the ocean. One of the main problems is the
sheer volume of people pouring into Thailand from such a wide diversity of
other countries. With migrants from Laos, Vietnam, Cambodia, Burma, China,
North Korea, Bangladesh, India, Indonesia, Singapore, Russia, The United States
and the United Kingdom, it is small wonder that the screening process is
ineffectual and failing those most in need of help. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ULQY23W9iqQ/WBx-g7xx97I/AAAAAAAACy8/LQMqVLuLbZs5wKNDpG6t8tavlQHf7PauQCLcB/s1600/407942.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="204" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ULQY23W9iqQ/WBx-g7xx97I/AAAAAAAACy8/LQMqVLuLbZs5wKNDpG6t8tavlQHf7PauQCLcB/s320/407942.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Soldiers patrolling the borders</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Smuggling/trafficking camps have been identified on
many parts of the Thai border, but given the sheer size of Thailand’s borders;
patrolling them effectively, is akin to holding back the tide. Many victims are
brought in by sea; with this in mind, the Government do raid fishing boats on a
regular basis, but again, it is pathetically insufficient. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-UP09vMbC9B4/WBx_FM3PhjI/AAAAAAAACzA/jTzs6T63V488wWkXGYWRjzFLdX4jxunvQCLcB/s1600/p01qj2cx.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-UP09vMbC9B4/WBx_FM3PhjI/AAAAAAAACzA/jTzs6T63V488wWkXGYWRjzFLdX4jxunvQCLcB/s320/p01qj2cx.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Police raiding a fishing boat with slave labour aboard</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">The Government has few effective resources in
relation to dealing with trafficked children. Often separated from their
parents in being smuggled over the borders, the children can face years in a
holding centre, or deportation. Those unlucky enough to fall into the hands of
traffickers can expect to be sold into the sex trade or other labour based
slavery. The Thai police do seem to have
maintained an effective cooperation with international law enforcement when
child sex cases involve foreign perpetrators. However, the Government fall
woefully short of providing a safe environment for the children to give
evidence. Often, they are forced to testify in front of the alleged
perpetrators, and have to give their personal details, which leaves them and
their families open to retribution and retaliation from the gangs. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-tnIvV6aSMGs/WBx_UOp0ZaI/AAAAAAAACzI/MPYpOdRbS-8n1IkiYfmUsdC8XCVL_-LQACLcB/s1600/human-trafficking-in-thailand_opt.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="153" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-tnIvV6aSMGs/WBx_UOp0ZaI/AAAAAAAACzI/MPYpOdRbS-8n1IkiYfmUsdC8XCVL_-LQACLcB/s320/human-trafficking-in-thailand_opt.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Vulnerable children are put at risk by having to testify in front of the perpetrators</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt;">In terms of prevention, the Government refused
entry to over 500 known sex offenders in 2015, compared to only 98 the previous
year. In that at least, a modicum of progress was made. They also organised
some training for officials and those in the tourist industry in relation to
child trafficking and its prevention. The Government also report having a surveillance
agency of trained operatives who are placed in high risk areas of child sex
trafficking, and who supposedly report to the police. However, as we have
already seen, corruption is such, that for a few hundred baht, many crimes will
go unchallenged and unpunished. </span></div>
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-No37B0qdiF8/WBx5hyObjMI/AAAAAAAACy0/4UM9NhB_5-Mes6IsxLmOPehg7GPNH74awCEw/s1600/4096.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="192" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-No37B0qdiF8/WBx5hyObjMI/AAAAAAAACy0/4UM9NhB_5-Mes6IsxLmOPehg7GPNH74awCEw/s320/4096.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Government anti-trafficking advert</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">From the above, we can see that the Thai Government
are making a few efforts to bring perpetrators to justice, but their efforts
continue to be hampered by gangs of organised crime. Thailand was at one time
on the lowest tier, imposed by the US Government – tier 3 – in relation to the
efforts it was making in relation to human trafficking. Tier 3 status could trigger
non-trade related sanctions and is viewed as very serious. In 2016, the US
Government lifted the tier 3 rating, lifting it to tier 2. This was met with
protests from Human Rights groups, who say the action was politically motivated
and did nothing to address the issues of trafficking, which is still rife,
especially in the fishing and sex industries.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<u><span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Caught in Traffick – The Novel</span></u></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">It is against this backdrop of corruption and
perversion that my novel Caught in Traffick is set. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-UsGLNSW2Q8o/V8VMzOAG8-I/AAAAAAAACs0/2m6PMW-_O7oq-zLfMJaXC4JLKICiLeI_QCPcB/s1600/Caught%2Bin%2BTraffic%2BF.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-UsGLNSW2Q8o/V8VMzOAG8-I/AAAAAAAACs0/2m6PMW-_O7oq-zLfMJaXC4JLKICiLeI_QCPcB/s320/Caught%2Bin%2BTraffic%2BF.jpg" width="209" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">The book is the sequel to my best selling debut
book, <i>Known to Social Services</i>, and
sees the main character, social worker Diane Foster caught up in a complex and
frightening web of criminal exploitation of the worst kind. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Book Festival Section winner and prequel to Caught in Traffic, my debut book, Known to Social Services</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Focusing mainly on the kidnap of two European
children, Caught in Traffick aims to highlight the issue of child trafficking for the sex
trade. I also draw attention to the marked differences between the abduction of
European children and the ensuing media drama, against the almost
unacknowledged disappearance of local children, who elicit an apathetic
response. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">For research purposes, I read extensively and spoke to people who work in anti-trafficking organisations. Their insight was invaluable. The Internet is of course a mine of information and I found dozens of useful websites. From children's charities, who are dedicated to the eradication of child trafficking, to UK Government Agencies who combat the problem from a criminal perspective; all went towards building the picture and helped with the emerging storyline. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">As a qualified child protection social worker I am
more than aware of the issues which are faced by many of the world’s children.
While Caught in Traffick is a novel, I am acutely aware that this is an all too
horrifically real issue for tens of thousands of children. It is my heartfelt
hope that through the medium of writing, I can bring some additional attention
and action to this hideous practice.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Caught in Traffick is available from Amazon in
paperback or Kindle format;<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/Caught-Traffick-Freya-Barrington-ebook/dp/B01L80IVJM/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1477746177&sr=1-1&keywords=caught+in+traffick">https://www.amazon.co.uk/Caught-Traffick-Freya-Barrington-ebook/dp/B01L80IVJM/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1477746177&sr=1-1&keywords=caught+in+traffick</a></span><span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">*https://www.thesoldproject.com/child-human-trafficking-thailand/<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">**http://www.state.gov/j/tip/rls/tiprpt/countries/2016/258876.htm<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Links<o:p></o:p></span></u></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><a href="http://www.freyabarrington.com/">www.freyabarrington.com</a></span><span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><a href="http://www.facebook.com/freyabarrington/">www.facebook.com/freyabarrington/</a></span><span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Twitter;</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"> @freyabarrington<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Don't forget, you can sign up to follow this blog by putting your email into the link on the main page. </div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "lucida handwriting"; font-size: 18.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Freya<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15760251169259291895noreply@blogger.com3Cotes-d'Armor, France48.5108101 -3.32636760000002647.1631371 -5.9081546000000262 49.8584831 -0.74458060000002613tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6410779310389235912.post-39206536956964557462016-08-29T05:35:00.003-07:002016-08-29T23:45:40.169-07:00New Novel Now Available<br />
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">I am absolutely
THRILLED to announce that my long awaited novel <i>CAUGHT IN TRAFFICK </i>is now available from Amazon and other outlets
as a paperback and a download. Please follow the link below;<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms";"><span style="font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 37.3333px;">https://www.amazon.co.uk/Caught-Traffick-Freya-Barrington-ebook/dp/B01L80IVJM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1472539404&sr=8-1&keywords=caught+in+traffick</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-u56dXhAWiLs/V8Qr-ffgrsI/AAAAAAAACsk/3dSey1iR8IcpJxwzlZ0tM2lDjMlIWu4KQCPcB/s1600/Caught%2Bin%2BTraffic%2BF.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-u56dXhAWiLs/V8Qr-ffgrsI/AAAAAAAACsk/3dSey1iR8IcpJxwzlZ0tM2lDjMlIWu4KQCPcB/s320/Caught%2Bin%2BTraffic%2BF.jpg" width="209" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">The sequel
to my debut book <i>Known to Social Services</i>,
<i>Caught in Traffick</i> picks up the story
of Diane Foster; the social worker who was unfairly vilified for the death of a
baby on her caseload. Diane is with her partner Ethan Montana in Thailand on a
working holiday when they unwittingly become entangled in a complex and
ruthless network of organised crime and child trafficking, which stretches from
Bangkok to Pattaya. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">The terrifying
experiences of the children, and those striving to secure their liberty, provides
a gripping and startlingly disturbing glimpse into the world of child
trafficking.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">Thousands of
children worldwide are sold, kidnapped or simply given into the harrowing and
frightening world of child trafficking, from which few escape. I wrote Caught
in Traffick in the hope that the book will raise awareness and perhaps even
challenge people’s views on this most heinous issue.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">Thank you
for the ongoing support. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><a href="http://www.freyabarrington.com/">www.freyabarrington.com</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><a href="http://www.freyabarrington.blogspot.com/">www.freyabarrington.blogspot.com</a>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><a href="http://www.facebook.com/freyabarrington">www.facebook.com/freyabarrington</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">Twitter:
@freyabarrington <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "lucida handwriting"; font-size: 16pt; line-height: 200%;">Freya</span></b><b><span style="font-family: "lucida handwriting"; font-size: 16pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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Information</span><span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</span><span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">In Freya
Barrington's previous book, 'Known to Social Services', Freya Barrington gave
us a frighteningly realistic insight into the harrowing world of the child
protection social worker. Based on her own experiences, the book was a
revelation and occupied the number one spot for social work books on Amazon UK
within weeks of release and went on to win the autobiography/biography/memoir
section of the 2015 London Book Festival and received an Honourable Mention at
the 2016 Paris Book Festival. </span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">'Caught in Traffick' is the sequel to 'Known to
Social Services', and continues the story of social worker Diane Foster. Set
mainly in Thailand; Diane and her partner Ethan are on a working holiday,
blissfully unaware of the dangers lurking against the beautiful backdrop of
white beaches and glorious monuments. When four-year-old Darcie Taylor is
abducted from a crowded beach, Diane and Ethan find themselves sucked into the
horrifying world of child trafficking. When Darcie’s abduction is followed
closely by the kidnap of another child, there can be no doubt that a well
co-ordinated gang is operating in the area. </span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">A chance meeting with the Director
of Social Services Nicholas Bishop leads to a shocking revelation about the man
who is still Diane’s most senior manager. Together, they become embroiled in a
dangerous web of subterfuge and corruption, where organised crime syndicates
and depraved sex offenders engage in a desperate battle of wits against those
dedicated to their downfall. Trapped within this labyrinth of immorality are
the children, who are sacrificed on the altar of greed and perversion for
financial gain. With the gang’s tentacles reaching across to England, Diane is
shocked to find herself faced with some old adversaries. With gripping twists
and turns, hair-raising rescue attempts and heart breaking tragedies which
leave you in despair; 'Caught in Traffick' will open your eyes to the
disturbing underground world of child trafficking.</span><span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15760251169259291895noreply@blogger.com0Cotes-d'Armor, France48.5108101 -3.32636760000002647.1631371 -5.9081546000000262 49.8584831 -0.74458060000002613tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6410779310389235912.post-60639928603403335762016-08-03T11:52:00.002-07:002016-08-03T12:45:30.549-07:00A Taste of Things to Come; a sneaky peek at the first chapter of my forthcoming novel Caught in Traffick<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">The time fast approaches for the release of my
latest novel, Caught in Traffick. While we wait, I thought you might like to
get a taste of what’s to come in this fast moving and gripping story of child
trafficking in Thailand. Here is a tiny glimpse into Chapter One.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">The beach at Jomtien, was crowded with tourists
doing what tourists do. They sunbathed, swam, drank cocktails, and played with
their children on the fine white sands. Screams and shouts of laughter emanated
from the banana boats out on the Gulf of Thailand, filled with willing
passengers who had paid for the dubious pleasure of being flung off into the
warm blue ocean. A string of ponies, sweated in the hot February sun, carrying
their cargo of small, equally hot children. No one paid any attention to the old
man in the wheelchair, whose feeble demeanour was a signpost of his advanced
years. He was simply an old man of no account who had been pushed into a shady
spot by his nurse, to enjoy the warmth of the late morning sun. He wore a large
straw hat, which obscured his face. Underneath the hat however, the Old Man’s deep
set eyes were keen and searching, and the unsuspecting people on the beach
could not have guessed the sinister purpose of his presence. Their indifference
would be costly, for the Old Man had played this game many times before and was
as sharp as he was cunning. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">The Old Man observed the tableau, which played out
before him; with his shrewd eye for detail, he already knew where all the main
players were situated. He knew the beach well, and had already committed many
details of today’s particular scenario to memory. It was with good reason that
the Old Man was known to the people who sought him out, as “The Watcher.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">He watched the fishing boats go by as they made
their way back to the fishing ports. He watched the waiters making cocktails
behind the gaily decorated bars, he watched two lovers kissing on the white
sands, mistaken in the notion that they were hidden from view by the garish
umbrellas. He watched the hippie types who still came to the area to smoke a
little dope, get high and remember the good old days. He watched the parents;
but most of all, as a hawk watches its prey, he watched the children. His seasoned eye was drawn to one family in
particular. Two parents with two young children, a blonde haired girl wearing an
eye catching pink and white polka dot swimsuit, and a younger boy. Their father
was swimming in the sea, leaving mother tending to both children. The Old Man
watched and waited, knowing that the opportunity would arise as it always did.
It had been over six months since the Old Man had been out hunting like this,
and he felt his pulse quicken in anticipation. He had travelled with special
purpose from his home in Bangkok, with one thing in mind and now he had it in
his sights. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">A woman approached from his left hand side; she was
a pretty young thing, dressed as a nurse; she attracted as little attention as
the Old Man. She said nothing, but bent down to rearrange the blanket over his
skinny legs. As she did so, she glanced up at him; “Soon” he whispered in an
almost indiscernible voice, “It will be soon, stay close, and be ready.” The
woman melted back into the crowds, but her sad eyes stayed constantly on the Old
Man. She waited, as he waited; the sweat ran down her back in rivulets betraying
the anxiety she felt at her situation. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">The minutes ticked by. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Somewhere
on the beach, a child cried out in pain. The woman did not turn her head to
look; her eyes were fastened on the Old Man, knowing that this could be the
moment. The Old Man had heard it of course, but unlike the woman, he fixed his
gaze on the unfolding drama on the beach like a hawk on a mouse. The boy had wandered
off and fallen; the mother turned, spoke briefly to the girl, and ran to her
son. People instinctively turned their heads in the direction of the crying
boy, some continued to watch as his mother comforted him, some smiled in
sympathy,<i> and no one, but no one had eyes
on the girl</i>; no one that is apart from Ruang Sak Yunram. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">****<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_CM3cBLkwMU/Vt67ucGIVxI/AAAAAAAACCY/KpwgWaietwwW1XQ_kgrW5mdQkA8-fLmOACPcB/s1600/Caught%2Bin%2BTraffick%2Bcover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_CM3cBLkwMU/Vt67ucGIVxI/AAAAAAAACCY/KpwgWaietwwW1XQ_kgrW5mdQkA8-fLmOACPcB/s320/Caught%2Bin%2BTraffick%2Bcover.jpg" width="206" /></a></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I hope that has whetted your
appetite </span><span style="font-family: "wingdings"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">J</span><span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">The book is the sequel to my first book Known to Social Services and should be released very
soon, possibly before the end of August, but no promises. Caught in Traffick will be available from Amazon as a paperback and a download. It will also be available from certain book stores.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3bFaBKmOiyk/VsgpiSgtADI/AAAAAAAAB_k/UQKquUIie_onffI8OEOnD1duCWJH4xbvwCPcB/s1600/known-to-social-servicesbanner2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3bFaBKmOiyk/VsgpiSgtADI/AAAAAAAAB_k/UQKquUIie_onffI8OEOnD1duCWJH4xbvwCPcB/s320/known-to-social-servicesbanner2.jpg" width="184" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I will of course keep you posted,
but you can sign up to follow my blog direct at;<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><a href="http://www.freyabarrington.blogspot.com/">www.freyabarrington.blogspot.com</a>
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Or visit my website;</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><a href="http://www.freyabarrington.com/">www.freyabarrington.com</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Or Facebook<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><a href="http://www.facebook.com/freyabarrington">www.facebook.com/freyabarrington</a>
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<b><span style="font-family: "lucida handwriting"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Freya<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15760251169259291895noreply@blogger.com0Cotes-d'Armor, France48.5108101 -3.32636760000002647.1631371 -5.9081546000000262 49.8584831 -0.74458060000002613tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6410779310389235912.post-8750748705685401022016-06-22T01:33:00.001-07:002016-06-22T03:10:06.675-07:00A Cautionary Tale<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">In light
of two recent high profile cases; one in the US, and one in the UK, I would
like to share a story from social work, which I feel has some parallels to both
stories. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">The case
in the US involved a young white man called Brock Turner. Turner was a young
man from a privileged background and was described in the press as an “All
American Swimmer”. He was at Stanford College, where one evening during a
Fraternity party, he was discovered by two other students on top of an
unconscious young woman. He was sexually assaulting her. He ran from the scene,
but was tackled by the two young men who had discovered him and held until the
police arrived. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">The
maximum sentence for Turner’s crime was 14 years; he got 6 months and is due
for release in 3. His father commented that this was “a steep price to pay for
20 minutes of action”. The case sparked widespread outrage and debate, none of
which I am going to enter into here. The point I would like to make is that in
ALL societies, there is a huge imbalance when it comes to dealing with people
from a different economic class. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">The
newspapers were quick to bring to the public’s attention several rape and
sexual assault cases where the perpetrators had been from a different economic
background, different ethnic group and class – all had received the maximum
sentence. Not one had been handed such a lenient sentence as Turner. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">The
details of the Brock Turner case can be found by following this link;<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brock_Turner<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">The case
in the UK tragically involved the death of a six year old girl called Ellie
Butler. Ellie was killed by her father who had fought to have her returned to
his care after he was released from prison where he had been serving a sentence
for inflicting grievous bodily harm on Ellie, when she was only a few weeks
old. Ellie had suffered severe brain injuries, but Butler began a media
campaign to have Ellie returned to his care. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Astonishingly
he won. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">He won
due to the judge, Mrs Justice Hogg finding in his favour and expressing her “joy”
at this “happy ending”. It was not a happy ending for Ellie. She is dead.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Social
workers in Ellie’s case did NOT fail her but were thwarted in their attempts to
protect her. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">You can read an account of this case by following the link below;<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2016/jun/22/ellie-butler-judge-took-unwarranted-steps-to-reunite-her-with-violent-parents<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">The case
I would like to share, thankfully does not involve the tragic death of a child,
neither does it involve rape or sexual assault. It does however involve a young
mother, who like Turner, came from a privileged background. This mother, like
Butler, had her two children returned to her care, despite the recommendations
of their social worker to the contrary. I was the social worker for these
children and this is my account of a frustrating case, which in my opinion was
handled differently to other similar cases due to the mother’s perceived “status”.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I will
call her *Natalie Smith.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Natalie
Smith was a young mother of 28. She had twin sons, *Aaron and *Jake, aged three
at the time of my involvement. Natalie came from a wealthy background; she had
attended private school and was expected to do well for herself. However,
Natalie had developed a problem with alcohol at the age of 16, and had been in
and out of private clinics several times – paid for by her parents. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">At the
age of 24, Natalie had an affair with a TV celebrity, which resulted in her
pregnancy with the twins. The father (who was married) wanted nothing to do
with her once he discovered she was pregnant, but he offered to support the
boys financially. The family declined his offer.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Natalie
did not come to the attention of Children’s Services until the twins were six
months old. She was discovered passed out in her car on a country lane. She had
apparently been on her way to the off licence to buy more alcohol. The children
were at home alone and when the police found them, they used their powers to
place them in Local Authority foster care and the case was referred to
Children’s Services. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">The
social worker who picked up the case was inexperienced and later stated that
she had been somewhat daunted at having a case involving someone “posh”. She
was not used to dealing with people of Natalie’s class and had felt intimidated
by Natalie and by her formidable parents. Natalie’s family closed ranks, gathered
around her and offered support, telling Children’s Services that they would not
be needed. They refused to co-operate and in an overworked, understaffed
department, the decision was made that Natalie and the boys could be adequately
supported by her family. The drunken incident was described as unfortunate, but accepted as a one off. The twins were returned to her care and the case was
quickly closed with a note of No Further Action on the file.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Eighteen
months later, Natalie was once again found to be intoxicated while caring for
the now two-year old boys. The police had to step in again and place the boys
in foster care. This time, a Core Assessment was undertaken, which suggested (unsurprisingly) that Natalie needed input from the alcohol team and support from the local
Family Centre. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Once
again, her parents came forward and stated that Children’s Services were not
required, and that this time, they would ensure “round the clock support” for
Natalie and the boys. There was no Case Conference, and no application for an
Interim Care Order. The boys remained in foster care under S20 of The Children
Act, with Natalie’s agreement. The Local Authority did not have parental
responsibility for the children, and once again, they went home to Natalie.
This time there was some follow up, with home visits and phone calls. Social
workers found that there were indeed people at Natalie’s home when they called,
but noted that they seemed to do little but drink tea with her. Natalie did not
appear to be assuming much responsibility for the boys, leaving them to her
friends and family to care for. She did not engage with the alcohol team, but
assured the social worker that she had now stopped drinking and was doing much
better. Her friends and family all confirmed this, and some even wrote letters
of support stating how well Natalie was doing. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">The case
was closed four weeks after the completion of the Core Assessment, with a note
on file that Children’s Services were “Satisfied” that Natalie had appropriate
support.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Unbeknown
to Children’s Services, the novelty of offering support to Natalie soon wore
thin for her friends and family who had better things to do. They stopped
visiting, though no one in Children’s Services was aware of this as the case
had been closed. In desperation, Natalie’s mother employed a Nanny for the
boys, but she quickly left when she discovered that she was expected to assume
100% care for the children until late at night, and that their mother had a
serious alcohol problem. A string of Nannies came and went – with Children’s
Services still unaware of the growing problem in the home. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">When the
boys were two and a half, they were discovered in a park running around on their
own. The police were called yet again and eventually discovered Natalie under a
tree surrounded by four empty bottles of wine. The boys went back into foster
care – their third period of time in care in less than two years. For Natalie,
nothing had changed. Her parents had now washed their hands of her, and her
well to do friends had abandoned her. She was a single mother with a
significant alcohol problem, and she was on her own.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">At this
point, I would like to pause and say that I have known several cases similar to
this one, and in every single one, an Initial Child Protection Case Conference was convened to
consider the risk to the children. On the second time of mother being
intoxicated while caring for the children, an Interim Care Order was sought,
and in no case, did the children return to mother’s care if significant changes
had not taken place. However, in ALL of the previous cases I had worked, the
mother’s came from what would be considered an underprivileged background, were
in receipt of benefits and lived a very different kind of life to the one
Natalie should have been enjoying. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I became
involved as I had been employed by this Local Authority as an agency
worker. My line manager was also an
agency worker and a woman of great experience and knowledge. She advised me on
my first day that she had a difficult case to allocate to me, and one with a
significant history. I was told that Natalie had now engaged with an alcohol
programme and was determined to get the twins back again. Natalie was described
to me as highly intelligent and incredibly manipulative. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I was
told that the current social worker had just been dismissed, as she had been
visiting Natalie in the evenings for coffee and had apparently told her, “Don’t
you worry Nat, I’ll get your kids back”. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I was the
latest in a succession of social workers who had yet to engage with Natalie in
any meaningful way. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I
reviewed the case from old files, and completed a chronology, which had never
been done. What was of startling note was that no one had, at any point,
contacted the children’s father. When I made enquiries about why this was, I
was told by other social workers that knew about the case, that it was due to
his celebrity status! I was also told by other social workers in the team that
Natalie “Knew people” and was “Well connected” in the area. I failed to see
what this had to do with the wellbeing of the children and commented that this
was not 1960’s London under the control of the Krays. However, I did take note
of the worrying attitudes surrounding this case, which to me indicated a
culture of “Laissez Faire” or leave well alone. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I wrote
to Natalie by email in the first instance to introduce myself, and to suggest
an office meeting. She wrote back to me almost immediately. Her email was
enthusiastic and friendly. She welcomed me as the children’s new social worker
and agreed to the meeting. She shortened my name, addressing me as if by
nickname. She signed herself Nat.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I wrote
again thanking her for responding so quickly. I addressed the email to Ms Smith
and signed my full professional name. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">The
meeting did not go well.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Natalie
seemed upset that I did not see things her way, and failed to understand why I would
not agree to the children being returned to her care the following day. When I
explained to her that I would be undertaking a comprehensive parenting
assessment, which would take many weeks of observation and engagement, she
became angry. The friendly persona of the email disappeared, and Natalie
actually repeated what my colleagues had told me, saying, she “Knew people” and
would make sure I lost my job. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Really?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I had hardly
stepped back into the building when my manager called me into her office.
Apparently Natalie’s solicitor had sent a tersely worded email to say that
Natalie wanted a new social worker as the relationship between us had “broken
down”. My manager sensibly wrote back and said that there was no relationship
established as yet, and so nothing to “break down”. No replacement social
worker would be allocated. The solicitor then wrote again and suggested that I
was not qualified to undertake a parenting assessment; he demanded that someone
else do the assessment. Again, my manager told him politely that I was more
than qualified to undertake a parenting assessment as it was basically what I
did for a living. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Natalie
then avoided me with avengeance. She refused to attend any meetings with me,
and would not allow me to visit the home. I saw the children in foster care on
a regular basis, and had no choice, but to write an assessment based on past
history, and current issues with input from the foster carers, nursery and a
few of Natalie’s friends who agreed to see me. What emerged was a very
different picture to the one Children’s Services had been presented with.
Natalie had managed very well to hide the reality of her alcoholism, shunning
everyone, and relying on paid Nannies to care for the boys. As far as I could
make out, she had never in her life had full time care of the children for more
than a day or two, before someone had stepped in to offer support. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Natalie
was NOT engaged with the alcohol team as she had led us to believe, and as far
as I was able to assess, absolutely nothing had changed. I had managed to track
down the father, who advised me that he wanted nothing to do with the children
or Natalie, so he was out of the picture. Her family had also disowned her, and
she had no friends left to rely on. In
light of Natalie’s refusal to work with Children’s Services, I was of the
opinion that if the children were to return to her care, history would repeat
itself, and they would be at risk of ongoing harm. After several weeks of
gathering information, I wrote my recommendations, which were that the children
remain in foster care, with a plan to free them for adoption. My manager
agreed. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Early the
following morning, I had just arrived at work, when I had a phone call from my
manager. She was upset, and told me that she had been fired and would not be
returning to work. I was stunned and asked why. She said that it was because
she had criticised a decision regarding the twins, which I would hear about
very soon. She warned me that I could expect some opposition and advised me to
be vigilant and “Watch my back”. It was as cryptic a phone call as I had ever
received in social work. Mystified, I went about my business, until I was
called into the office of the Operations Manager. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">He told me that he had read
my report and advised me that I would have to change my recommendations.
Puzzled, I asked what I was expected to change. He shuffled about in his seat
and looked uncomfortable. He told me that he had been in discussions with very
senior management and with other individuals, and that the twins would be
returning home to the care of their mother. In light of these discussions, I
would need to “Adjust” my report accordingly to reflect this decision. I sat
open mouthed, but managed to ask why. He rambled on for a while about Natalie
not being given a fair attempt at parenting the children and that this time,
she would have an army of support. He then said that Natalie had “strong ties”
with certain people in the area who had pledged to assist her. I reminded him,
that we had been down this road with her in the past, with round the clock
support, and it had not worked, and as such nothing had changed. I asked who these
people were and why he thought it would it work this time. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">He would
not be drawn into a discussion, but told me that an emergency review meeting
had been convened, which I was expected to attend in precisely 30 minutes. I
would hand out copies of my amended report and recommend that the children
return to Natalie’s care forthwith.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">It was
his turn to be stunned when I refused.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I told
him that I had no intention of changing my recommendations as I believed that
my assessment was accurate, and my manager had agreed with me. He then told me
what I already knew – my manager no longer worked for this department. I then told him that if he wanted the report
changing, he had better find himself another social worker, as I would not do
it. I refused to put my name on a document, which would mean placing these
children back in a home where I believed they would be at significant risk of
ongoing harm.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I then
did something I have never done in my career as a social worker, no matter how
difficult things had been.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I resigned,
right there and then, I resigned. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Before I
left, I made an official complaint to the Director of Children’s Services, in
regard to the twin’s case and I was subsequently invited to see him. He
listened carefully to what I had to say and then told me they were sorry to
lose me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I do not
know what became of Natalie or her children after I left. I sincerely hope that
she did succeed in being a parent, but I seriously doubt it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I have
told this story as a cautionary tale; no one, not a social worker, a manager or
a Director can afford to be manipulated or swayed simply because of someone’s
status, perceived or otherwise. I was horrified at the way Natalie seemed to be
able to manipulate the people around her. I never did find out who she “knew”
but it smacked of corruption. For me as a professional social worker, I felt
bullied and under pressure to change a decision, simply because someone
somewhere seemed to be intimidated by Natalie’s contacts. Whatever or whoever it
was, it got in the way of the safety of those children, which to me was totally
unacceptable. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">*All
names have been changed <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">For more information on me and my writing, please visit my website;</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">www.freyabarrington.com </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="font-family: "lucida handwriting"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Freya<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15760251169259291895noreply@blogger.com0Cotes-d'Armor, France48.5108101 -3.32636760000002647.1631371 -5.9081546000000262 49.8584831 -0.74458060000002613tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6410779310389235912.post-48107504185289106492016-05-24T23:52:00.000-07:002016-05-24T23:52:08.771-07:00Not the Type? Challenging the Stereotype of the Child Sex Offender<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I was
speaking to someone a few days ago and they told me that a well know celebrity
had been arrested on charges of historical sexual abuse of children. This is
not a new phenomenon of course, in fact, it seems to be on the increase. Practically every celebrity I grew up admiring
seems to have been accused or charged with historical child abuse. What struck
me in this case however, was the way in which this person spoke about it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“I don’t know why they’re dragging this up
now, I mean what’s the point? It was years ago. Why don’t they leave him alone?
I mean, he’s not the type”. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I found
myself reeling from her words. Never mind the fact that she felt it best to
“Just leave it alone”, it was her comment “He’s not the type” which stunned me.
Can people really be so naive to think that there is a stereotypical "type” of person who
abuses children? Maybe a tattoo on the forehead stating, “I am a risk to
children, please avoid”.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Many
celebrities have been accused of sexual abuse and subsequently arrested. Some
have been proved innocent, some were guilty and were later convicted. I was particularly
stunned when Rolf Harris was arrested and recall thinking, “Surely not Rolf,
one of my childhood heroes” but there was no doubt about it – he admitted his
crimes. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Did he look “The type”? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">The
celebrities issue aside, what is our stereotypical idea of a sex offender? A
dirty old man in a grubby raincoat, shifty eyes, leering smile,
smelling of cigarettes? Or perhaps the overweight loner
with a bushy moustache who still lives with his mother? Okay,
I’m exaggerating, but I’ve yet to meet a sex offender who fitted such a stereotypical
description, yet people often find it easier to attach and accept the label of sex
offender to such a “Type” of individual. They find it much harder to accept
that their neighbour; that nice Mr Jones who works at the bank, wears a suit,
drives a BMW – no, not him surely? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">He’s not the type. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Don’t you
believe it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<div style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 37.3333px;">For the vast majority of the general public, sex offenders are a frightening and unknown quantity. An unspoken terror lurking in the shadows waiting to pounce on our children. Fueled by the media's oft inaccurate portrayal of them, which in any headline usually contains the word "monster"; people form opinions and ideals in their minds of just what a sex offender might look like. Someone once said to me that stereotypes exist for a reason. This is very true, but in the case of the sex offender, many of the stereotypes are no more than unhelpful urban myths and could not be further from the truth. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 37.3333px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'; font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 37.3333px;">One of the dangers of stereotyping sex offenders, is that it might actually allow them to avoid detection, and stay under the radar.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'; font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 37.3333px;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'; font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 37.3333px;">So what are some of the common misconceptions about sex offenders?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 37.3333px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: comic sans ms;"><span style="font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 37.3333px;"><u>Sex Offenders Are Strangers</u></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<div style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'; font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 37.3333px;">One common misconception is that sex offenders are strangers who use force and aggression to achieve their goals. While a percentage of sex offences are random acts of violent aggression, the vast majority of offenders</span><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"> adopt quite different approach. </span><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'; font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 37.3333px;">Perpetrators of sexual abuse are cunning, often a lot more intelligent than we give them credit for. S</span><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">ex offenders can be quite charming and polite. They may appear helpful and
generous; offering to babysit or drop your child off at school. When alone with your child, they will no doubt be initially encouraging,
sympathetic to their woes and usually have treats and sweets to hand. They need
to be able to manipulate and coerce a child; gaining their trust and ensuring
their eventual submission and silence, which was the goal all along.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 32px; orphans: auto; text-align: justify; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 32px; orphans: auto; text-align: justify; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 37.3333px;">It is a *fact that only about 10% of children are victimised by a stranger. A staggering 90% are abused either by a family member OR a professional/social contact or friend of the family.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 37.3333px;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 37.3333px;">I am sure that all caring parents warn their children about stranger danger. But how many of us warn our children about the potential dangers of family members, teachers, sports coaches etc? The sad fact is that many children who have been victimised by such people were under the impression that their parents knew about it and were therefore endorsing it. I recall one little boy who was abused by his piano teacher telling me that, despite his protests and reluctance to go to his lessons, his mum insisted he go every week. In his child-like thinking, he equated this to mean that mum knew what was going on and was okay with it. </span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><u>Examples From Case Work</u></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I have
lost count of the cases I have worked as a senior child protection social worker, which involved sex offenders who target,
groom, and go on to abuse children within a family. In my experience, many sex
offenders seek out vulnerable women, often single mothers, who are isolated
and low in self-esteem. Many of them meet online in chat rooms or dating sites.
The men initially befriend them, then move on to dating them, which of course
gives them access to their children. They use subtle manipulation; perhaps offering to babysit so that mum can have
a well-earned night off to go to bingo or out with her friends. And so it
begins. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">One family I worked with involved a man who was known to Children's Services as a sex offender.
Due to data protection, we were not immediately at liberty to disclose his
convictions to the mother of the children he had begun dating. In the initial
stage, I went to visit her and advised her that we had concerns about her
current boyfriend, and that she should have a conversation with him as to why social services might have such concerns. Until then, we strongly recommended that he did not visit her home or have unsupervised contact with her children. Her response was heart breaking. She
was a single mum, who had never come to the attention of social services in her
life. A good mum, who worked hard in raising her three children alone after her
husband had walked out on her for another woman. She was overweight, harassed and
tired. She had no social life, no family support and this man had appeared like
a beacon of hope in her humdrum existence. She listened to me and responded, </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><i>“But
look at me" she said tearfully, "Who’s going to want me now? I’m fat with three kids, but HE wants
me. No one else wants me but he does”. </i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">This is precisely the response the sex
offender is hoping for. A woman, so lacking in self-confidence that she drops
her guard and allows this “nice helpful man” into her life, and just like that,
the cycle of abuse continues.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Did he look the type? He was ten years her
junior, tall, good looking and as polite and charming as you could imagine, so, in her eyes, I guess not. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">We
had to visit the mother again, along with the police who made the uncomfortable
disclosure to her about her new found love and his prior convictions for child sexual abuse. She was devastated of course and
blamed us for her continuing unhappiness. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">In another case, a deputy head teacher had
groomed and abused dozens of teenagers. His ploy? He went out of his own area (into
mine) and hung around the local skateboard park, pretending his son was there
somewhere. He chatted to the teens, gaining their trust, offering cigarettes,
and moving on to alcohol. He was their older cool mate, who eventually offered
a ride in his car to go and get a takeaway, which is a big deal to an impoverished teen – that’s when he made his move. He
would then threaten the teenagers that he would tell their parents they had
been drinking and smoking with him, and after all, he hadn’t forced them to
come with him; they were willing enough to drink his beer and smoke his
cigarettes. It was enough to secure their silence. After all, in their minds,
they had “gone along” with him, so it was their own fault (their words not
mine) He was eventually caught literally red handed at a well-known beauty spot
with two teens in his car along with sexually explicit material. They told the
police everything. The man was found to have 17000 indecent images and 32 movies of children in his possession.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">He was imprisoned for a mere 4 months. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Did HE look
the type? A seemingly respectable deputy head teacher with an unblemished
record. His own wife refused to believe it, even after all the evidence was
presented in court. That’s how convincing he was. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><u>Sex Offenders Are Anti-Social Loners</u></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<div style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Another misunderstanding, is that sex offenders live on the fringe of society, possess few social skills and can be easily identified. </span></div>
<div style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">The
sexual predator’s “success” for want of a better word, depends on their ability
to appear ordinary, to blend into the background, to hide in plain sight, or to appear as pillars of
the community. It also depends on their skills in gaining the trust of the
child, or the mother/carer of the children. One only has to read any of the reports
or books on the well-publicised cases in the towns of **Rotherham and Rochdale in the UK, to understand
how easy it can be for predatory sex offenders to approach, groom and then abuse children in an organised manner. In the Rotherham and Rochdale cases,</span><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'; font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 37.3333px;"> groups of British Pakistani men working in gangs, groomed and recruited vulnerable white teenage girls into prostitution. This led to a nationwide discussion as to whether or not the crimes were racially motivated. Far from being isolated loners, t</span><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">he men in both cases were well known within the community and all knew each other. Many of them had families and children of their own and were local business men. One of the men convicted was a religious studies teacher in a mosque.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">Were they the "Type"?</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><u>Sex Offenders are Avoident and Difficult to Engage</u></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">In my experience of working with sex offenders, I have found the above statement to be inaccurate. While I am not suggesting that any perpetrator will willingly "confess" his or her crimes, I have found m</span><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">any sexual predators to be</span><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'; font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 37.3333px;"> arrogant narcissistic individuals who had a sense of their own invincibility and who were </span><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">only too happy to engage with me and talk about themselves. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">Do not forget that they may well have been abusing children undetected for many years before a child makes an allegation, thus leading them to believe they are beyond the reach of justice. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">In dealing with them in a case, many of them have adopted the air of a
wounded martyr, hoping to create a smokescreen; i.e. “I can’t believe that s/he said that
about me, we have a great relationship. I mean, I’m the one who takes them to
school every day and to swimming and dance and everything as their mother is
always so busy”. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I have known sex offenders who have actively offered to work with me to "get to the bottom of why
the child has made such a wild accusation". I have also know these individuals to make every effort to groom, flatter and befriend me in the same way
they have groomed the family and the children. </span><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="color: red;">Be on your guard social workers</span> - this is their territory, it is how they operate and they are masters of manipulation. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><u>The Fear that a Child Will Tell Someone Acts as a Deterrent to the Sex Offender</u></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Not so</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms";"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">Children
who are the victims of sexual abuse rarely tell anyone, in fact, according to
statistics from the NSPCC* only 1 in 3 children disclose sexual abuse. It is a
secret sin, never to be shared or told. Why is this? There are a host of well
researched reasons why children do not tell. One of the reasons is because they
do not think anyone will believe them. The perpetrator will of course have told
them this, and groomed, threatened and conditioned them to think they will not be believed.
Often, the child </span><span style="font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 37.3333px;">themselves</span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"> cannot believe what is happening to them. If the
abuse is within the family, or within a social setting, i.e. a teacher, a sports
coach etc, then the child may be frozen by the same barriers, which prevent
adults from accepting it. WHO is going to believe that their tennis coach Mr Smith could do such a terrible thing? I mean, he’s SUCH a nice man; certainly
NOT the type, and so it goes on, unseen, secret, hidden, ignored, disbelieved. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms";"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms";"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><u>Sex Offenders are all Men</u></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms";"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 37.3333px;">This is untrue. While children are predominantly abused by men, women also sexually abuse children, though they only represent about 5% of abusers. Women are sometimes the victims of the same male abusers and are forced to work as accomplices to the men, engaging in the abuse of their own children.</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><u>Listening to Children Who Are Victims</u></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">What
message do we give to children who DO try and tell us? Do we believe them
without question? Do we doubt them? Pour scorn on their stories as fantasy? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I once
knew a woman whose daughter was being sexually abused by an elder of her
church. The child eventually plucked up the courage to try and tell her mother
and was rewarded with a slap to the face. “How dare you say such a disgusting
thing about a man in this church” was her mother’s stinging response, giving
the message, “What he’s doing is okay”. The man of course continued in his
abuse of her daughter and other children. Thankfully, he was eventually brought
to justice by the disclosure of another child whose mother DID believe her. The
first mother then had a nervous breakdown with the shame and regret of her
inaction and her inability to accept the truth, which led to her own child, and
other children being victimised. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">It is
vitally important if a child makes any sort of disclosure to first of all
LISTEN, just listen. If you are a professional, you will know that there are specific
guidelines regarding how to act if a child makes a disclosure. Whoever is hearing
the disclosure, it is essential for the child to feel believed. Any child who
is being victimised, needs to feel safe in telling their account of what
happened. Do not be tempted to ask leading questions or probe too deeply; just
hear them out, and when appropriate refer to the proper authorities (assuming
you are not a professional and already dealing with it) Don’t demonstrate shock
or question them, i.e. “Surely not Mr Smith? Are you sure”? - that kind of
thing just puts doubt in the child’s mind and reinforces Mr Smith’s assurance
that no one will believe them. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">There is
much and more I could write on the subject of sex offenders and child sexual abuse, but the
purpose of this piece is mainly to challenge the stereotype of the sex offender
and raise awareness of the issue.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">There is no one “Type” of sexual predator. While there may well be
certain characteristics and profiles to be aware of when identifying sex
offenders, which I will write about another day, the fact remains; sexual
predators do not fit into a convenient box, and may just surprise you as to who
they are. </span><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">*Statistics
from NSPCC<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://www.nspcc.org.uk/preventing-abuse/child-abuse-and-neglect/child-sexual-abuse/sexual-abuse-facts-statistics/"><span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">https://www.nspcc.org.uk/preventing-abuse/child-abuse-and-neglect/child-sexual-abuse/sexual-abuse-facts-statistics/</span></a><span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms";"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">*</span></span><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 37.3333px;">*For more information on the Rotherham and Rochdale scandals please refer to the following links.</span><br />
<div style="line-height: 32px;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 37.3333px;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: comic sans ms; font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 37.3333px;">https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rochdale_sex_trafficking_gang</span><br />
<span style="font-family: comic sans ms; font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 37.3333px;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: comic sans ms; font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 37.3333px;">https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rotherham_child_sexual_exploitation_scandal</span><br />
<span style="font-family: comic sans ms; font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 37.3333px;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms";"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">My debut
book </span></span><i style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">Known to Social Services</i><span style="font-family: "comic sans ms";"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"> is a
fictional narrative based on my own experience as a child protection social
worker. The book has been the number one social work book on Amazon UK several
times and won its section at the 2015 London Book Festival. More recently, </span></span><i style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">Known to Social Services</i><span style="font-family: "comic sans ms";"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"> won an H</span><span style="font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 37.3333px;">onorable</span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"> Mention in the General Non-Fiction section at the 2016 Paris Book Festival.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Among
other topics and themes common to social work, the book highlights the heinous
work of a paedophile ring, and the manner in which they infiltrate families and organisations to access
children. With mothers oblivious to their intentions, and others who simply do
not believe that their nice friend could do such a thing, the book highlights
the issue of the sex offender in society. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><i>Known to
Social Services</i></span><span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><i> </i>is available via Amazon and good book stores. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">The
sequel to the book, <i>Caught in Traffick </i>is
due out later this year. Set in Thailand, the book picks up the story of <i>Known to Social Services</i> and tracks a
child trafficking ring. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<a href="http://www.freyabarrington.com/"><span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">www.freyabarrington.com</span></a><span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="font-family: "lucida handwriting"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Freya<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15760251169259291895noreply@blogger.com2Cotes-d'Armor, France48.5108101 -3.32636760000002647.1631371 -5.9081546000000262 49.8584831 -0.74458060000002613tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6410779310389235912.post-1851765226266426792016-05-16T23:33:00.000-07:002016-05-16T23:33:52.613-07:00Known to Social Services Wins Honorable Mention at 2016 Paris Book Festival<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">I am
absolutely thrilled to announce that my debut book Known to Social Services has
won an </span><span style="font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 37.3333px;">Honorable</span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"> Mention in the General Non-Fiction section of the 2016 Paris
Book Festival.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-2keC9yOtJvk/Vsgqk_t7i4I/AAAAAAAACAQ/fWd9K2ZFiaMFb463IKSkyGL3p0Q_dZ56wCKgB/s1600/known-to-social-servicesbanner2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-2keC9yOtJvk/Vsgqk_t7i4I/AAAAAAAACAQ/fWd9K2ZFiaMFb463IKSkyGL3p0Q_dZ56wCKgB/s320/known-to-social-servicesbanner2.jpg" width="184" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Already a Winner in London</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Already
the WINNER of the autobiography/biography section of the 2015 London Book
Festival, the book tells the fictionalised and harrowing story of a social
worker in the UK.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">The book
is recognised as a valuable learning tool for social workers, and is included on
many UK University reading lists.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Thanks
must go to Faraxa Publishing for publishing the work.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Thanks to
everyone who supported me in downloading or buying the book and offering a
steady stream of encouragement.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">My second
book Gozo Is the Grass Greener? Was a WINNER in Paris, taking the top prize in
the autobiography/biography section.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-lewar8Fq_GI/VtQzkMsf_dI/AAAAAAAACBs/p3IVQZEYEWMliErKRU38NJ63tOHXo2XKgCKgB/s1600/Gozo%2Bhonorable%2Bmention%2Bbanner.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-lewar8Fq_GI/VtQzkMsf_dI/AAAAAAAACBs/p3IVQZEYEWMliErKRU38NJ63tOHXo2XKgCKgB/s1600/Gozo%2Bhonorable%2Bmention%2Bbanner.jpg" /></a></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Gozo Is the Grass Greener went one better in Paris and WON its section</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">We hope
to attend the winners dinner in Paris in June – good thing we live in France
now </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span><span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Lucida Handwriting"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Freya <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15760251169259291895noreply@blogger.com0Cotes-d'Armor, France48.5108101 -3.32636760000002647.1631371 -5.9081546000000262 49.8584831 -0.74458060000002613tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6410779310389235912.post-89689798147955744272016-03-04T22:36:00.001-08:002016-03-08T03:47:15.945-08:00Who are You to Judge? The Importance of Recording and Evidence Based Assessments.<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">Jane’s words rang
in my ears; her wonderful Scottish brogue seemed to give more weight to her sound
advice. “Write. It. Down” she said firmly, enunciating every word. Jane was my
tutor in University, and was talking to me in a 1:1 tutorial about the
importance of recording in social work. Her words made an impression, which
remain with me to this day. </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">Such was her
emphasis on the subject, that once qualified and working, I became almost
obsessed with making sure that I, </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">Wrote. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">It. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">Down. </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"> </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">Jane was not wrong; accurate recording is
absolutely fundamental to the task of social work.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I was a social
worker back in the day before computers made the job of recording less
laborious. How well I recall staying in the office after a lengthy or difficult
visit, which had to be written up by hand, before I went home, while the
information was fresh in my mind. I wasn’t alone; there would often be three or
four of us, hunched over our desks, scribbling furiously, and wishing our hands
didn’t ache quite so much. If I felt like
skimping the task, Jane’s words would resound once again, and I would redouble
my efforts. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Jane was equally
emphatic about the importance of accuracy. “If it goes to court” she cautioned,
“You’d better be sure you’ve recorded it accurately”. This advice was to stand
me in good stead many times. I recall one occasion where I was
cross-examined in Crown Court by a particularly intense barrister who seemed
determined to discredit my account of events of the case in question. At one
point, he asked me how I could be so sure of my recollection of events, which
were written up in the court report. I answered simply and honestly, “Because I
recorded it accurately at the time”. He raised a sardonic eyebrow and
questioned me again, “You mean to tell me that at the time of speaking to this
mother, you managed to make detailed notes”. To me, it seemed obvious, “Yes” I
replied. He paused for effect, “And where, may I ask are these marvellous notes
now?” he enquired with an edge of sarcasm. I pointed to the desk where the Local Authority solicitor
was sat; “Right there” I said indicating my original notebook from the day in
question. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">The judge leaned
forwards and gestured, “I’ll have those please,” he said immediately, and they
were duly admitted as evidence. Sure enough, on the day in question, I had
followed Jane’s advice. I had Written. It Down. Chapter and verse; it was all
there, dated, signed, and accurate. The judge read the notes in silence. Then,
he turned to the barrister and declared, “Seems clear to me” and that, was in
effect, that. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">When contemplating
poor recording, I think about a case where I was required to write an
independent assessment concerning a little boy of four who had been taken into the care of the Local Authority, and whose aunt wished to
assume care for him. The social worker in charge of the case, was, like many of
her colleagues, overworked, tired and stressed. As well as reading all the files, and speaking to all the professionals involved, I discussed the case with the social worker in order to glean as much first-hand information as possible. As we talked, she
recalled several meetings where the child’s aunt had been aggressive,
confrontational and on one occasion, downright violent, attacking the social
worker in the foyer of the building. I asked the social worker if she could
possibly direct me to the case notes in regard to these incidents, as they would
need to form part of my assessment. She told me that she had never had time to
record the meetings and incidents, some of which had happened more than a month
previously. Seeing my stunned reaction to this, the social worker told me that
she “Had it all in her head”. This did nothing to alleviate my concern. Here we
had a family member who was potentially wholly unsuitable for the task of
caring for this child, but her violence and aggression towards professionals
had not been recorded and hearsay does not stand up in court. Write. It. Down. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">One of the most
elemental skills for any social worker is the ability to initiate an accurate
assessment of a given situation. Undertaking solid, research based, evidential
assessments, is a core activity for any social worker. Good quality assessments
are THE essential tool in substantiating and informing the decision making process
within social work. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Assessments are
usually context specific and may comprise of a variety of theoretical
approaches. However, all assessments share a common factor in that they all require
the gathering of information. In a situation of immediate risk to a child, an
assessment needs to be made quickly based on the available information.
However, more often than not, assessments are time consuming, and can take many
weeks or even months to complete. Social
workers are not only concerned with gathering information; they must also
analyse and evaluate what information is relevant and more importantly, what is
valid and accurate, which is a skill in itself. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">The role of the
child protection social worker is complex; Parents can become defensive and
hostile in their efforts to protect their privacy and, given the nature of the
job, the information offered to social workers by parents may not necessarily
be exact. Parents who feel they are “under the microscope” can understandably
feel anxious, and, in their efforts to avoid further involvement from social
services, may volunteer information, which is not accurate. Parents may minimise a given situation in order
to downplay the social worker’s concerns, or more worryingly, may offer
information, which is totally fabricated and intended to deceive. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Gathering
information for an assessment can be intrusive and uncomfortable for all
concerned. The skill of the social worker must lie in their ability to
interpret what is factual and relevant in an often highly complex plethora of
information. They must then organise this information into a comprehensible
assessment, which addresses the salient points, highlights any areas of risk to
the children concerned, and most importantly must offer recommendations as to
how to make and maintain positive changes. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Within this
process, social workers are often accused of being judgmental. While it is
hoped that we would strive to avoid adopting an autocratic or superior
attitude; making sound judgments is an essential part of any social worker’s
role. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">One dictionary
definition of the word judgement is; </span></span><br />
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><i>The
forming of an opinion, estimate, notion or conclusion from presenting circumstances.</i> </span></span><br />
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Another definition suggests that it is;</span></span><br />
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><i>The ability to judge, make a decision, or
form an objective opinion, wisely, especially in matters affecting action.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
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<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“Being
judgmental” is therefore unavoidable if we are to be effective. When a social
worker visits a family and begins an assessment, he or she is, essentially
being paid for their judgement about the situation. When the social worker
discusses the case with their manager, that manager then makes further
decisions based on the judgement of the social worker. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Social work
judgments are based on the assessment of a given situation, it is therefore
essential that our skills in this area are regularly revised and enhanced.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">While judgement of
a situation is required, social workers must guard against falling into the
trap of “value judgments”. For example, we might visit a home and report that
it was “<i>maintained to a high standard”</i>
– by whose standard are we measuring this? Alternatively, we might
report, “<i>the children were
inappropriately dressed”;</i> again, what is our baseline for quantifying this
statement? <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Statements such as
these must be backed up with evidence if we are to avoid the accusation that we
are being judgmental, which is where the evidence-based assessment is of such
importance. One Local Authority I worked
for recently banned the use of the phrase, “Kicked off”, in assessments and
daily logs, which I for one was more than happy about. It had become commonplace
for social workers to report that children had “kicked off”, with no
accompanying information as to what qualified as “kicking off”. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Once completed, a
social work assessment can be a crucially valuable tool. It may be used in
court as the basis for the Local Authority’s case in Family Proceedings. As
such, the importance of the evidence gathered by the social worker cannot be
understated. Our resulting judgement, made as a result of all the relevant
information, is at the heart of our role as child protection social workers. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">So remember; Write. It. Down. You will not only help yourself, but others who may need to rely on your accuracy for other ongoing assessments or court hearings. </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Visit my website; <a href="http://www.freyabarrington.com/">www.freyabarrington.com</a><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span class="oneclick-link"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">My bestselling
book <i>Known to Social Services</i> is a
fictionalised work, outlining the daily challenges faced in social work. <i>Known to Social Services </i>won the
autobiography/biography/memoir section of the 2015 London Book Festival. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-2keC9yOtJvk/Vsgqk_t7i4I/AAAAAAAACAQ/8SIdcXLUzVY/s1600/known-to-social-servicesbanner2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-2keC9yOtJvk/Vsgqk_t7i4I/AAAAAAAACAQ/8SIdcXLUzVY/s320/known-to-social-servicesbanner2.jpg" width="184" /></a></div>
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Coming Soon; my latest novel, titled <i>Caught in Traffick</i> is a novel about the harrowing world of child trafficking in Thailand. it is a sequel to<i> Known to Social Services.</i></span></span><br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-_CM3cBLkwMU/Vt67ucGIVxI/AAAAAAAACCU/c7O3WoltqVw/s1600/Caught%2Bin%2BTraffick%2Bcover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-_CM3cBLkwMU/Vt67ucGIVxI/AAAAAAAACCU/c7O3WoltqVw/s320/Caught%2Bin%2BTraffick%2Bcover.jpg" width="206" /></a></div>
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background: white; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div>
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<span class="oneclick-link"><i><span style="background: white; font-family: "lucida handwriting"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Freya <o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15760251169259291895noreply@blogger.com018830 Huéscar, Granada, Spain37.8071096 -2.543041099999982237.7820191 -2.5833815999999823 37.832200099999994 -2.5027005999999821tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6410779310389235912.post-10483804055037168072016-02-20T13:59:00.001-08:002016-02-29T04:04:05.441-08:00New Book Cover for Forthcoming Novel Caught in Traffic<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; tab-stops: 285.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Writing a book is exciting. Any author will tell you
that. Developing the characters, plotting the twists and turns, and seeing the
story take shape, with you; the architect of it all. It can also be lonely; frustrating, and at times, discouraging. There will be many re-writes, dozens of
readings and endless editing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I can only speak for myself, but once it is
completed, I kind of sit back and think, “Oh, …………. Hey I finished it”. It kind
of sneaks up on you in the end, and you finally realise that all the hard work,
all the sleepless nights where you wrote from midnight until 6 am have come
together and you have the raw makings of a new book. If you think the hard work is behind you, think
again. Now it begins in earnest. There is the foreword, the acknowledgements,
the synopsis, the biography, and all the editing, which goes into making it fit
for publication. I speak from experience when I say that writing a 300 word
synopsis has been known to cause me more aggravation than writing the 90,000
words of a book. I stare blankly at the screen, wracking my brains as to how I
am going to cram a description of this entire story into 300 words – you try
it, it's not easy!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Not least in all the preparation is the book cover,
which is incredibly important. I’m sure you have all heard the saying, “<b><i>Don’t
judge a book by its cover</i></b>”, but I’m afraid we do, we really do. How
many of you have picked up a book in a store simply because you were attracted
by the cover? I know I have. In the same way that I have ignored a book because
the cover put me off. I’m certainly guilty of judging a book by its cover!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">With all three of my books, the cover was in my
mind long before the book was completed. For <i>Known to Social Services</i>, that sombre backdrop of high rise flats
was always going to be the cover. I also knew that I wanted the colour red to
feature as a sharp contrast to the suggested dreariness of the world therein. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3bFaBKmOiyk/VsgpiSgtADI/AAAAAAAAB_g/B4Ioy9aVg-c/s1600/known-to-social-servicesbanner2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3bFaBKmOiyk/VsgpiSgtADI/AAAAAAAAB_g/B4Ioy9aVg-c/s320/known-to-social-servicesbanner2.jpg" width="184" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">The stark cover of <i>Known to Social Services</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">For <i>Gozo Is
the Grass Greener?</i> The cartoon style animation of me, Steve and Ollie the
lurcher, was perfectly captured by Michael Martin who is the current illustrator
for Fred Basset in the Daily Mail. It was as if he had read my mind </span><span style="font-family: "wingdings"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">J</span><span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-lewar8Fq_GI/VtQzkMsf_dI/AAAAAAAACBo/NZ9ahPP-P68/s1600/Gozo%2Bhonorable%2Bmention%2Bbanner.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-lewar8Fq_GI/VtQzkMsf_dI/AAAAAAAACBo/NZ9ahPP-P68/s1600/Gozo%2Bhonorable%2Bmention%2Bbanner.jpg" /></a><span style="font-family: "wingdings"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 37.3333px;">In complete contrast, the fun cover of </span><i style="font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 37.3333px;">Gozo Is the Grass Greener?</i><i></i></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Caught in Traffic</span></i><span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"> was no different. I had an image of a child on a
beach making sandcastles. I wanted to suggest a place of blue skies, and happy
holidays. The book then takes you into a frightening world, where carefree
holidays are shattered by the dark and sinister intrusion of the child
traffickers. More about the story in a future blog.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">For now, I am very proud to unveil my latest book
cover, which has been beautifully designed and brought into reality by Samuel
Hurt. Check out Sam’s Facebook Page, <i>Misty
Fell Productions</i> and find out more about this talented young man. Thank you
Sam, excellent job </span><span style="font-family: "wingdings"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;">J</span><span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "lucida handwriting"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Freya <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15760251169259291895noreply@blogger.com018830 Huéscar, Granada, Spain37.8071096 -2.543041099999982237.7820191 -2.5833815999999823 37.832200099999994 -2.5027005999999821tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6410779310389235912.post-59495639346825384852016-02-10T00:04:00.000-08:002016-02-10T00:04:22.816-08:00Exciting New Novel CAUGHT IN TRAFFICK<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; tab-stops: 285.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">I am delighted to announce that I have just about
completed my latest book. This is my third book to date, and is a sequel to my
debut bestseller, <i>Known to Social
Services.</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">The new book is titled, <i><span style="color: red;">Caught in Traffick</span></i><span style="color: red;"> </span>and is, as the title suggests, takes the reader into
the terrible world of child trafficking. A work of fiction, <i>Caught in Traffic</i> picks up where Known
to Social Services left off.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">The book is set in mainly in Thailand, and features
some characters from the first book, along with many new characters, who you
will love to hate. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">From an Organised Crime Syndicate with a
megalomaniac leader, to abducted children and an intricately tangled web of
blackmail, deceit and unimaginable horror, <i>Caught
in Traffic</i> will take you on a roller coaster of a journey, complete with
twists and turns and culminating in a jaw dropping finale. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">So IS Nicholas Bishop the infamous NB – all will be
revealed </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span><span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Not long now folks – watch this space.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Handwriting"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Freya <o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15760251169259291895noreply@blogger.com018830 Huéscar, Granada, Spain37.8071096 -2.543041099999982237.7820191 -2.5833815999999823 37.832200099999994 -2.5027005999999821tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6410779310389235912.post-90420435175043020822016-02-01T01:16:00.001-08:002016-02-01T01:16:12.356-08:00Goodnight Wogan<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">Yesterday,
the world awoke to the sad news that we had lost one of Britain’s best loved
icons, Sir Terry Wogan. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">In
a month that has seen the loss of too many much-loved figures, such as Lemmy
from Motorhead, the one and only David Bowie, Glenn Frey of The Eagles, Dale
Griffin of Mott The Hoople, to name but a few, the news of Terry Wogan’s death
was like the final insult. It seemed as if day after day, we would access our
social media and almost immediately be open mouthed and exclaiming, “Oh no”,
trotting of to break the news to our other half and asking the pointless
question, “Guess who’s died now?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">It
affected me more than I ever imagined it would.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">I
cried. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">When
I reflected as to why this should be, why should I be so affected by the
passing of a man, who after all, reached the good age of 77, lived a
comfortable life in the public eye, had a loving family, and who I had never
met? Why?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">I
came to the conclusion that Terry Wogan has simply always been there. As much a
part of my life as a well loved Uncle. I grew up listening to his Irish blarney
every morning before I left for school. I recall my dad sitting at the
breakfast table, letting out one of his great guffaws of laughter at something
Terry Wogan had said. At the time of course, with hormones coursing through my
bloodstream like poison, I would pull a face of utter disgust. “For God’s sake
dad” I would opine in my best teenage sneering voice, “It wasn’t THAT funny”.
But do you know what? It really was.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">When
I left home aged only 19, guess what? I abandoned Radio 1, defecting to Terry
and Radio 2 and listened to him all the time. He was more than a superb DJ with
a sense of timing, a turn of phrase, and a twinkle in his voice as he spoke to
us. He was my link with my parents, my home, and my past. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">I
wrote to him once; I was 21, and shared some anecdote about daily life, but he
read it out and I felt elated. Terry Wogan had READ my letter out on the radio.
I remember so well my mum ringing me from 80 miles away, “Did you hear it?” she
enthused, “He read your letter”. “I know” I beamed, “I know”. Good times.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">I
lost both my parents when I was in my 20’s. Their loss was a hammer blow, from
which I never truly recovered, but Terry was still there and as I listened, I’d
think to myself with a smile, “Dad would have liked that” or “Oh mum would have
laughed to hear that one”, and so the link continued. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">How
many of you remember the JR saga of the 80’s? I followed it with absolute
delight. Long before we had Facebook, Twitter and the rest, Terry Wogan was
uniting the country with his easy wit and absolute charm. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">I
qualified as a child protection social worker in 2001, and on my way to work,
Terry was always with me, and many of my colleagues. He gave us a cheery start
to days, which were less than joyous. We’d trickle into the office one by one
and often ask, “Did you listen to Terry Wogan this morning?” And there would be
laughter, shaking of heads and comments about his repartee. Whether it be Janet
and John, or just his well-known characters, Edna Bucket, Lou Smorrels, Dora
Jar and my personal favourite Chuffer Dandridge. His double entendre’s were
legendary and I would find myself wondering how he got away with some of them,
so close were they to the bone. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">He
will never know how important he was to so many of us, in that small triumph of
making us smile in the misery and sadness of our jobs.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">Oft
times I would be out of the office early, while Terry was still broadcasting. I
would literally have to pull over, tears of laughter coursing down my face
especially with Janet and John, read in the presence of the ever faithful John “Boggy”
Marsh. Along with Lynn Bowles and Alan Dedicote;
the mere mention of their names brought me comfort; it was something reliable,
solid and dependable. I remember the feeling of sharp disappointment if I tuned
in to find Terry was on holiday and someone else was standing in. I would
exclaim in annoyance, no one did the breakfast show like Terry.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">As
I got older, there was absolutely no doubt, I had become a TOG – one of Terry’s
Old Gits. I wondered what my mum and dad would have said about THAT.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">Of
course, Terry’s talents were not confined to radio. A supreme TV broadcaster,
he had us tuning into the terrible Eurovision Song Contest, simply to hear his
acerbic commentary and comments. ………….. Priceless.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">His
presentation of the BBC’s annual Children in Need was also a “must watch”
event. There was just something so British about the whole thing. You had to be
a part of it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">To
say he will be missed is an understatement. He was part of the fabric of the
country, a true legend, with real talent. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">For
me, he was the thread that linked me to times gone by, times, I could revisit,
simply by hearing that lovely Irish brogue, which never failed to bring a smile.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">Now
he’s gone and really, it just won’t be the same, not ever. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">My
thoughts and condolences are with his family at this time <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-E_cJBz4H0Kg/Vq8h6vci9gI/AAAAAAAAB94/4rMFv3FrVAA/s1600/terry.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-E_cJBz4H0Kg/Vq8h6vci9gI/AAAAAAAAB94/4rMFv3FrVAA/s320/terry.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">Goodnight
Sir Terry, and thank you so very much for your gift to us all. xxxxx<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Handwriting'; font-size: 18pt;">Freya<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15760251169259291895noreply@blogger.com018830 Huéscar, Granada, Spain37.8071096 -2.543041099999982237.7820191 -2.5833815999999823 37.832200099999994 -2.5027005999999821tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6410779310389235912.post-69474776974668175152016-01-26T16:24:00.001-08:002016-01-26T16:57:00.435-08:00Wildest Dreams<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">Less
than 12 months ago, I was eagerly, and somewhat nervously, awaiting the release
of my debut book <i>Known to Social Services</i>.
Based on my own (fictionalised) experiences as a senior child protection social
worker, I had felt for years that I had a book inside me, but never seemed to
have the time to write it. With the support of my husband Steve, I eventually
withdrew from the work force at the end of 2013, saying goodbye to the Child
Protection Team I was working in at the time. Devoting all my time to writing,
I finally completed the book, which details the day to day life of social
worker Diane Foster. Once completed, I submitted the manuscript to dozens of
agents and publishers, to no avail. Oh I had some polite and encouraging
responses, and three of them offered me what is known as a vanity deal. That’s
where you, as the author, get to pay THEM to publish your work – err no thanks,
I’ll keep on trying.</span></div>
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<o:p></o:p><br />
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">My debut work</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">Like
so many authors, disillusionment was setting in, until a chance meeting with a
friend led me to the Maltese based publishers Faraxa, who offered me a contract
and gave me the much needed opportunity to see my work in print. I cannot
describe the feeling when I received the email, which made the offer. To see
that someone wants to publish your work is such a thrill, and I still pinch
myself to make sure I’m not dreaming. I am indebted to Faraxa. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">www.faraxapublishing.com</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">Then
came all the editing, the proof reading the re-reading, the cover design, the
foreword, the acknowledgements, and the final “Yes, it’s ready” before it went
off to America to be published.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">The
excitement of launch day was immense; I was like a cat on hot bricks waiting
for the response to all my hard work. Within two weeks, the book was at the
number one social work book on Amazon UK. I could NOT believe it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">The
feedback I have had since then has been tremendous and quite frankly,
overwhelming. Yes, there will always be the protagonists, but overall, the book
has been very well received by the profession of social workers and lay people alike.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">I
have been fortunate in receiving many invitations to visit Universities in the UK
and in Malta, where I have been privileged to speak to students, lecturers and
qualified social workers. I have also had the pleasure of doing many book
signings as well as radio and newspaper interviews and a visit to a primary school to read to the children, though NOT I hasten to add from<i> Known to Social Services!</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">At The University of Derby where I completed my Social Work training.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">Speaking by invitation at Huddersfield University's Social Work Book Day</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">With BBC Radio Lincoln's Melvyn Prior</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">Once
the initial excitement had died down a bit, I applied myself to completing my
second book, titled <i>Gozo Is the Grass
Greener? </i>A totally different piece of work, this book charts mine and Steve’s exploits in moving from the UK to the lovely island of Gozo in 2010.
A mixed book of humour and sadness, it is a simple biography of our lives,
written from the heart. It tells of how we met, our wonderful lurchers, our
singing career and much more. This book was also well received and found a
place in the hearts of the people of Gozo and much further afield. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">My second book</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">On
the advice of the Director of Faraxa, I entered both books, in the 2015 London
Book Festival. A week ago I had an email to say that the winners of the Book
Festival had now been announced. There was a link, which of course I followed.
Never imagining I had realised success I stared in frozen amazement when I read
the following.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">Winner: Known to Social Services - Freya Barrington</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">I stared at the words, and for some reason, closed the link and opened it again, not actually trusting that I had seen it correctly. No, there it was again, Winner: Known to Social Services - Freya Barrington. I had won, I had actually won.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">Steve was in the shower, but I simply HAD to tell him, and so went barging in with a big grin on my face. Wrapped in a towel, he looked at me in puzzlement, "What?" he asked as I continued to beam. "I won" I said simply, "The London Book Festival, I won my section". Now for those of you who know my husband, you will know that he is a man of few words, and fewer facial expressions. He smiled, nodded and simply said, "What did I tell you?" ....... And he had; he had said it would win, and he was right. He's had faith in me from day one and has always been my most ardent supporter. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">However, that was not the end of it; <i>Gozo Is the Grass Greener</i>? Had been entered in the same section and had received an Honourable Mention.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">A double delight - to say I was over the moon was an understatement.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">I write for pleasure; I write because I enjoy writing. It is not a burden or a chore, if it was, I would not do it. I have always said that if no one ever bought one of my books, I have still had the pleasure and delight of holding those shiny freshly printed new editions in my hands and saying, "I wrote this". However, it has to be said that to receive any sort of accolade is above and beyond my wildest expectations.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 200%;">The Social Work magazine Community Care, ran a story on the success of <i>Known to Social Services</i>, at The London Book Festival, and today, saw the book once again take the number one slot in social work books on Amazon UK. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms";"><span style="font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 37.3333px;">http://www.communitycare.co.uk/2016/01/25/book-realities-child-protection-work-wins-award/</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms";"><span style="font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 37.3333px;">And just when I thought it couldn't get any better, I received notice that <i>The National Council on Crime and Delinquency </i>in the USA are considering <i>Known to Social Services</i> for their <i>Media for a Just Society Award. </i> Apparently, a member of their staff nominated the book. I was stunned - the USA? WOW I never imagined it had reached so far. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms";"><span style="font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 37.3333px;">Every author, no matter who they are depend on their reading audience for their success. And so I want to say to each and every one of you who has urged me to write and to have faith in myself. To everyone who has read either, or both of the books, whether bought or borrowed, to those of you who have given me great reviews, or who have simply written to me privately and said, "Great book Freya", I say a huge and most heartfelt thank you. Authors are an odd breed, we spend months, even years of our lives, hidden away getting backache, neck ache and shoulder ache from sitting hunched like hobbits over our laptops as we furiously bang out our latest plot. We worry, we wonder, we drink a lot of coffee and we do what we love to do - we write stories. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms";"><span style="font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 37.3333px;">However, without people to read those stories, we are incomplete. Yes, I do write for pleasure, but oh the joy when you hear from someone who has read you book and who tells you it made them laugh, or cry, or how they've thrown the book across the room as they were so angry with one of the characters. Then ........ THEN you know you've got it right. When your words can move people, stir their emotions, provoke a response, then you know you've nailed it. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms";"><span style="font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 37.3333px;">And so, what now? Many of you are hounding me to hurry up and finish the sequel to <i>Known to Social Services</i>, and I promise I am working hard on it. Honestly. Steve and I are currently in southern Spain, but that is due to change soon ................. watch this space.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms";"><span style="font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 37.3333px;">I hope to have it finished by Easter, and then we begin again with the editing etc. I am confident however, that it can be earmarked for your summer reading. The book is a work of fiction, set in the world of child trafficking. It's another disturbing glimpse into a world, which many of us are completely unaware of. With some of the same characters from <i>Known to Social Services</i>, the book is set mainly in Thailand, where you will meet many new characters, some of whom you will love to hate! With twists and turns, highs and lows, I am hoping it might enjoy the same success as its predecessor, but then, that's really up to you.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms";"><span style="font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 37.3333px;">Love to you all</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "lucida handwriting"; font-size: 18pt;">Freya</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15760251169259291895noreply@blogger.com018830 Huéscar, Granada, Spain37.8071096 -2.543041099999982237.7820191 -2.5833815999999823 37.832200099999994 -2.5027005999999821tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6410779310389235912.post-35958016111530882872015-11-20T01:49:00.002-08:002015-11-20T01:49:34.080-08:00Living with Alcoholism; A Personal Story<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">I recently had some news, sad news, to
say that a friend I had known for a long time had passed away. I had lost touch
with this lady many years ago, but from time to time, we would catch up and
touch base. I knew that my friend had some issues with alcoholism, but I guess
I had not appreciated the severity of her problem, which she understandably kept
to herself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">I am no stranger to the tragedy of
alcoholism and my friend’s passing brought back a lot of painful memories. You
see, my own mother was a victim of this illness, some 30 years ago, though at
the time, I could not comprehend the complexities of her condition. I
understood <b><i>why</i></b> she drank, but, in my ignorance, I, like many people,
thought she should just be able to just “Stop” and to get it under control. How
utterly naïve I was. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">I am writing this very personal blog
about my own experiences in the hope that it might offer some small level of
understanding or support to others who might be suffering the same. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"> ------------------------------------------------------<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">My childhood in the UK was fairly uneventful and
ordinary really. Mum was mum, always there, caring and kind. She was a
brilliant gardener, and grew all our own fruit and vegetables for many years. My grandfather, her father, had been a market gardener during the war, and she
had clearly inherited his skills. She also made jam, dressed me in home-made fancy
dress costumes for the school fair, and raised a ton of money so my primary
school could have a swimming pool. She was secretary of the PTA and an all-round
good person.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 28px;">A tiny me with my mum</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">She was my first champion, as a mum
should be, constantly boosting my self-esteem. Always telling me I was
beautiful (even WITH that pudding basin fringe I lived with) and encouraging me
that I could do anything with the right attitude. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Me and mum in her lovely garden, and me with THAT haircut!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">I often felt I was a bit of a disappointment
as daughters go. An out and out Tom boy, with a high sense of adventure; I
engaged in risk taking behaviour from an early age. With many broken bones and </span><span style="font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 28px;">stitches</span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"> to vouch for this, I feel that my poor long-suffering mother despaired,
and longed for a more gentile daughter, perhaps one who painted or played the
piano nicely. Hmm, it was never gonna happen. I was usually to be found running
wild in the woods with my boy cousins, up a tree or falling in the brook. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">My dad and I had a more distant
relationship. I loved him of course; I mean, he was my dad, but he wasn’t a
hands on dad at all. He was more caught up in his golfing and, as a fairly large figure in the Masons, he spent a lot of time at the Masonic Lodge and was far too busy to
pay much attention to me. I recall as I got older, that
he and mum argued a fair bit about the amount of time he spent out of the
house. On one famous occasion, she threw my roller skate at him (and missed)
while shouting, “It’s not a wife you want, it’s a housekeeper” in great Maureen
O’ Hara style. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">My dad was always a bit of a Jack-the-Lad; seen here on the wall</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">However, despite the friction his
absences caused, the fact was that she idolised the man. He was her whole
world, and like many women of her generation, she depended on him totally. Mum
never learned to drive, she didn’t know how to use a cheque book. Convent educated,
she was an innocent abroad whose life experience in general was fairly limited.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">I remember her telling me once that she
had overheard another woman talking about her impending marriage to my father and
saying, “Can you believe it, Tom’s marrying that MOUSE of a girl”. I know that
hurt her deeply, and she felt less than adequate as a partner for such a charismatic,
and popular man. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Mum front row far right; the good girl in the hockey team</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">The little mouse bride</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Despite the opposition, they did marry
and mum settled into a life of domesticity, while dad worked. He would
eventually own his own business, which only served to add to the pressures on
their increasingly strained relationship. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Mum with me and my brother at a local beauty spot</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Tragedy struck one day in May 1981. I
had (foolishly as it turns out) got married and only three days previously, had
moved to another County about 80 miles away. I got the news via the new people
I had gone to work for. I still remember the look on the man’s face as he came
to tell me I needed to ring home. He could not look me in the eye, he studied
the ground, overwhelmed with the hand grenade that he had just thrown into
my world.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">My father was dead at the age of 56. A heart attack, in the back of a taxi of all
places, and just like that, my life would never be the same.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">And just like that, he was gone</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">This is not the place for me to write
about the feelings of anger, disbelief, grief, loss and everything, which
accompanies the sudden death of a loved one so close to you. Maybe another
time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">I knew however, that the impact of his
death on my mum would be utterly devastating. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">I was not wrong. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">She learned of his death from the
police – 2 sombre faced men, who came to the house, with their sincere, yet empty
words of condolence and sorrow. Glad when they could leave again and get back
to their own lives. Away from the madness, where the poor woman was throwing
glasses at the wall and screaming at them. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">It hit her hard. She was now alone.
Both her children had left and had families and lives of their own. My brother
and his wife lived close by, and offered as much support as they could, but it
was not enough. Nothing was enough, and it never would be again. She wanted the
man she loved, and his passing had destroyed her. She would stand at the open bedroom
window in the middle of the night calling his name, while knowing he would
never again hear her voice. She stopped eating and sank into a grief so deep,
she was unreachable. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Mum was never a drinker, that’s the
ironic thing. Girls educated in Catholic convents, can buck their stringent
upbringing and be fairly wild, but my mother was one of the obedient ones, a
mouse, as that woman had so cruelly called her. She was at best, a social
drinker, a sherry at Christmas, and maybe a glass of wine with Sunday dinner,
but an alcoholic? The very idea was laughable. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">She had come out of herself a bit as with
my dad, she had quite the social life but an alcoholic? Never. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Mum having a bit of fun, not long before dad died</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">However, in an effort to deaden the
pain of her loss, she began to drink. Bell’s Whisky was quite literally her
poison. As a family, we all tried to reason with her, to offer some comfort,
while secretly and with a large measure of guilt, wishing she would “move on”.
After all, my dad was hardly ever home. Surely, she could start a new life? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Oh
the callousness of youth, the selfishness of reason, which is designed to
benefit only the self. Get over him? She had worshipped the ground he walked on
for over 25 years, she was never getting over this man. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Never.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Her drinking became the topic of much discussion
within the close family. I went as far as visiting her own GP and discussing it
with her. She told me very simply that unless my mum <i><b>wanted</b></i> to stop drinking,
there was nothing anyone could do to stop her. Tragically, mum did not have the
motivation to stop. Her world had collapsed, there was no reason to try any
more. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">The hundreds of friends who had packed dad’s funeral to the extent that
there had to be police directing the traffic, had long abandoned her, unable to
deal with the raw pain she exuded. It also turned out that they were mainly dad’s
friends; mum was a persona non gratis – she was “Tom’s wife” and not a person
in her own right. The “friends” faded into the background, no more than a
memory of a life she used to know. It was, in effect, a slow suicide. She was
killing herself one day at a time and the rest of us got to watch, to stand by
helplessly as she did so.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Here’s the brutal honesty of it all. </span><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 28px;"> </span><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 28px;">While mum was sinking lower and lower, I was fighting my own emotional battle. </span><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 28px;">I am so thoroughly ashamed to admit this now, but I was filled with</span><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 28px;"> seething resentment.</span><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 28px;"> </span><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"> S</span><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 28px;">everal years had gone by, and her drinking had got worse. </span><span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">I now had 2 small children, one of whom was less than a year old. I was a busy young
mum in a miserable marriage of my own, and limited in what help I could offer. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 28px;">I missed my dad too; she was not the only one suffering from grief, but rather than unite us, his death seemed only to divide. I had wept rivers of tears for him; he would visit me in my dreams and I would ask him where he had gone. Once my children were in bed for the night, I would cry for hours, aching with the longing to see him again. The next day I would put on my game face and be a mummy again. My simple logic was, "If I can carry on, then why can't you?" </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 28px;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 28px;">Clearly, I'd never been in love like she had.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">My emotions would flare up at the most unexpected times. One day I was pushing my first baby in her pram through town and saw another young mum doing the same. The difference was, that this girl had her mother with her. What a happy scene they presented, 3 generations together. I was jealous, angry and resentful all at the same time. Why couldn't my mum be there for me? I wanted my babies to have a grandma, to know that family bond and to be excited when grandma was coming, like I used to be as a child.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">It was never to be.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-size: 18.6667px;">Mum had taken to making drunken rambling phone calls to me in the middle of the day. I knew she wouldn’t remember any of it the following day, and took to avoiding answering the phone. </span>Some days when we did talk and she was
more lucid, she would plead with me to visit her. Money was tight, and I would
try to explain that it was not so easy to simply “pop over” as it was too far
to travel with 2 small children in one day and at that time, petrol was an expensive
luxury. Days later I would receive an envelope with £10 in it “for petrol”. My
insides would cramp into a ball; my own mother paying me to go and visit her - it
felt like emotional blackmail and only added to my feelings of frustration and
failure.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">I did visit, of course I did. I would
go into her house, the house I grew up in, and I would search it like some
deranged CSI agent looking for evidence. I would find it too; glasses of whisky
hidden behind the curtains, behind furniture and even in the oven. I went
through every emotion possible, from rage to sadness, from sympathy to
contempt. Yes, contempt; I found myself despising my own mother for what I perceived
as her weakness. In one awful argument, I recall asking her why she could not
deal with my dad’s death as other widows I knew had dealt with it. I pointed at
my children through tears of anger while demanding to know why they were not enough motivation for her to stop drinking. Oh what an ignorant, stupid
egotistical child I was. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">She would cry, I would cry and we would
try one more time to “work it out”. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">I look back and cringe at my own insensitivity. How could she possibly “move on”? She lived
still in the house they had occupied since I was three years old. Every room
screamed his name, as the ghost of his memory walked past her every day.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">She made promises she had no hope of
keeping. One of the worst times was when I planned to make a trip to the far
north of Scotland. At the time, I only had one daughter. She was 18 months old
and suffered from appalling car sickness – taking her with me was out of the
question. I only planned to be gone a few days, and mentioned to my mum that I
was thinking of asking my close friend to care for my daughter in my short
absence. There was a wounded silence on the other end of the phone. I waited,
knowing what this was about before asking with an inward sigh, “What’s the matter?”
The silence between us grew until finally, she spoke, “Why can’t I look after
her?” she asked in a small voice.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">My breath caught in my throat. Did she
really just ask me that? I stumbled over words, trying, not too successfully,
to be tactful as I explained that given her circumstances I thought it best if
she didn’t babysit. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Her next words were stinging, and
delivered with all the self-belief she could muster. “You think I would drink
don’t you? How could you think that I would do that when I’m caring for my granddaughter,
how COULD you think that of me?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">It was enough; she shamed me into
agreeing that she could care for my precious baby. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">I got to Scotland after an exhausting
10 hour drive. I immediately went to the phone to ring mum to let her know I
had arrived and to ask how she was getting on. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">She was drunk.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">My world spun, everything tilted and at
that moment, for the first time in my life I hated my mother. I felt utterly
betrayed and totally helpless. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">I hung up, rang my sister in law, and gabbled
out a tearful explanation begging her to go and rescue my daughter, which of
course she did. I returned home the following day with 24 hours of pent up
anger just waiting to explode. There was a terrible scene of course, which I regret to
this day. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">However, it was this event which
brought my mother’s issues with alcohol into sharp focus. As she lay on her bed
sobbing tears of guilt, I suddenly saw with alarming clarity what had evaded me
for too long. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">This woman was sick. Really sick. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">She did not need me to shout and blame
her for her actions, what she needed was unconditional love and understanding,
which had been painfully lacking from me, her only daughter. I stood shaking
with the adrenaline of the confrontation, and was overwhelmed with shame. I
went to her and sat down besides her attempting an apology. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">For the first time since my father died,
I felt the full force of the pain of HER loss. She cried like a child,
repeating over and over, “I want him back, I just want him back”. I felt like a
voyeur; I was witnessing something which I did not deserve to be a part of,
something so primeval, which I had never before encountered. It was a sobering experience.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">I’d like to be able to tell you that things
improved and that my mum sought the help we had all urged on her for the past 4
years.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">That would be futile. She did not get
better, in fact, she got worse. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">She knew; of course she knew. She began to set her house in order, putting the home she had shared with dad on the market and agreeing to buy another, smaller property. She never got to make the move.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Her drinking caught up with her, and
she was admitted to hospital where she lied to the consultant, and believed she had fooled him. When I arrived, he spoke to me and said that my mother had
told him she drank approximately a bottle of whisky a week. Confirming the </span><span style="font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 28px;">skepticism</span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"> I could see in his eyes, I told him that it was more like a bottle a day. He
commented that people did not get this sick on a bottle a week. I found myself trying to explain, to somehow make him see that I had tried, we had all tried. He understood of course, he'd seen it all before.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">One day when I was visiting, I came out of the lift and sat on a bench in the hall, working myself up to go in and see her. She looked absolutely shocking. The illness had turned her a terrible shade of orange and she was basically skin and bone. As I sat there steeling myself, the lift doors opened and an old man got out. Looking at me, he came and sat beside me and patted my hand, as if in silent sympathy. He asked who I had come to see and I found myself weeping into the arms of this total stranger and telling him about the pain and sadness I was feeling. He just listened and let me get it all out. Then, standing up to leave, he pressed a box of Mr Kipling French Fancies into my hand, no doubt intended as a gift for whoever he was visiting. "For you lass" he said, "Cake always helps". Who he was I do not know, but to this day I will never forget that small kindness. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Mum was in hospital for three weeks
before cirrhosis of the liver took her from us. It had only been 5 years since my dad died,
and now, I had to face the loss of my mother. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Before she passed away, she said
to me, “I’m afraid”. When I asked her what she was afraid of, she said, “I’m
afraid I’m going to die”.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">In that moment, I wanted to scream. I
wanted to shake her and shout as loudly as I could, “Of course you’re going to bloody
well die, we’ve been telling you that for the past 5 years”. Instead I took her
hand and asked without a hint of cynicism, “Was that not the plan all along?” She
smiled, a rare smile and simply said, “Maybe, but now it’s here I don’t much
like the idea”. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">At that moment, my heart broke into hundreds
of tiny pieces. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">All the hurt, the anger, the
frustrations about her drinking evaporated in that moment and as we held hands,
we made our peace.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">I never saw her again. She slipped away
while I was not there. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">I miss her every day. She was a beautiful person, she was my mother. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">I have shared this very personal
account, hoping it might help people in a similar situation, whether you are
ill with alcohol addiction, or living with it as a family member. The loss of my mother and the accompanying sense of a life wasted never leaves me, neither does the regret that I did not do more. </span></div>
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<br />
<span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 28px;">Alcohol is responsible for so much pain and many tragedies, from car accidents to domestic violence and child abuse. It is legal, widely available and socially accepted.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 28px;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">I am now a qualified social worker with
much experience in dealing with issues surrounding alcohol and its impact on the individual and their wider families. I am aware of all the available research and
theories in working with people who have alcohol issues. I did not have the benefit of this knowledge 30 years ago. However, all the knowledge and learning in the world can not prepare you for the journey you must take when a friend or loved one is battling with addiction. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">In many ways, my personal experiences
with my mum, contributed to my current knowledge. I don’t doubt I am still
trying to make amends in some way for my historical failure to help someone who
needed more from me than I was able to offer at the time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">If you are affected by any sort of addiction, please, be encouraged to seek
professional support. Go to your doctor, he or she will understand
and point you and your loved ones in the right direction. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">I only wish I had
done more, sought more advice, not been so caught up in my own angry emotions,
that I could not see my mother’s terrible pain. I cannot turn back time, but I
can try and help others not to make the same mistakes I made.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-CdkEebXIKXs/Vk7pcI1qngI/AAAAAAAABs0/Sl4TGQeUFiE/s1600/12274338_930478047041531_6007795013526327787_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="304" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-CdkEebXIKXs/Vk7pcI1qngI/AAAAAAAABs0/Sl4TGQeUFiE/s320/12274338_930478047041531_6007795013526327787_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "lucida handwriting"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 150%;">Freya <o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15760251169259291895noreply@blogger.com0Midi-Pyrénées, France44.0859426 1.520862399999941841.1525801 -3.6427116000000579 47.019305100000004 6.6844363999999414tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6410779310389235912.post-33669275999742690482015-11-06T01:46:00.000-08:002015-11-06T01:46:28.345-08:00Emotional Resilience <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: cyan;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">I qualified as a
social worker in 2001, and like many of my compatriots went into my first job,
wide-eyed and eager for action. The years of training and study were complete,
and while I realised that the training would always be ongoing, it was time for
“the real thing”. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">I was appointed to
a child protection team, dealing with referrals concerning children in the
locality. I was not without experience, having worked as a teaching assistant
in local schools, as well as spending three years in residential settings with
children who had emotional and behavioural difficulties. In addition, I had been a
Foster Carer for the Local Authority caring for babies prior to their being placed for
adoption. I had also been working in this particular team on a part time basis
during my time at University, though my work was limited to taking referrals
and accompanying colleagues on visits. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">I had been assured
by a senior manager at my interview that;<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"> - I would not hold
more than 8 cases for the first 12 months and,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"> - I would not hold
ANY child protection cases; my caseload would be restricted to “children in
need”.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">I can almost hear
the collective sigh from social workers as they read this, because;<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"> - It was, at best, a
dubious promise to make, and,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"> - It was in fact
completely erroneous and impractical <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">I was, however,
blissfully unaware of the complexities of working in a team of social workers,
all of whom were overwhelmed with the sheer volume of work they had to deal
with. I would hear them worrying about
how many children they had on their caseload and how stressed they felt. They
would question aloud how they were going to get all their visits done, never
mind write the endless reports, which always seemed to be overdue. I pitied
them, but I felt safe; after all, I was only going to have 8 cases max, and
none of them would be child protection …….. right?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Wrong.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">The reality kicked
in precisely 2 weeks into the job. One of the children on my caseload was a
young person of 13 years who refused to attend school, and who exhibited
challenging behaviour at home. Things came to a head, and I received a frantic
phone call from his mother telling me that she had lost her temper and punched
her son in the face. She requested that I come and remove him immediately from
her house, adding that she never wanted to see him again. I went immediately to
speak to my line manager, and with hindsight, my naivety was laughable, as I
honestly expected that, the case would be transferred to someone else with more
experience. After explaining the situation to her, she rightly advised that an
Initial Child Protection Case Conference would need to be convened. I anxiously
enquired who would write the report and her response brought my new world
sharply into focus. She raised an eyebrow in mock query and said,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">“You’re a
qualified social worker aren’t you? You’ll be doing it”.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">And so it began;
call it what you will; a baptism of fire, thrown in at the deep end, a rude
awakening. It all equated to one thing, THIS was the reality of the job. There
would be no protected caseload, no special dispensation because I was newly
qualified and certainly no abatement of cases being allocated to me. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Within a few
weeks, my caseload had grown to 34 children, 19 of whom were subject to child
protection plans. While this might seem like a luxury number of cases to an
experienced social worker; to a newbie like me, it was an unbelievable
nightmare. There were never enough hours in a day and like every other social
worker I have ever met, I worked far more hours than I was ever paid for, in an
effort to keep my head above water. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">It was a vicious circle; the more I tried
to be superwoman by working at home or staying late in the office, the more I
created an illusion, with regard to my capabilities ............... it was no more than a mirage. Consequently, my manager overestimated my
capacity and the work kept coming. I was given cases far above my level of
experience; badly injured babies, complex court cases, extremely aggressive
parents and more. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">I became aware of
an alien sensation in the pit of my stomach, like an oily snake writhing about,
ever demanding, ever present. I did not sleep properly, and when I did sleep, I
would wake up with a dull ache in my jaw where I had ground my teeth in the
night. My left eye developed an almost permanent twitch and I was jumpy and on
constant red alert, even when I was not at work.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">I did have regular
supervision, but my fear of being seen as a failure led me to play down my
feelings of stress and anxiety. I told my manager that I felt a bit swamped,
and she smiled and told me I was more than capable of dealing with the cases I
had. I felt undue pressure to succeed and not let the team down. After all, I
was the new girl and did not want to be seen as a failure to the job in which I
so wanted to succeed. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">It took only 9
months for me to burn out. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">I remember the day
so well. I was at my third case conference in a week, none of which had seen
the support of my manager. As I sat facing the mother in question across the
table, she began to shout at me, berating me for the things I had written in my report. As she spoke, it was as if she was disappearing down a long
tunnel. I watched in detached fascination – I could see her mouth moving, but
no longer heard any words. What I didn’t realise was, that I was having a panic
attack. I was fortunate in that the Chair of the meeting DID realise what was
going on, halted the meeting, and asked everyone to leave the room. I was a
shaking, hyperventilating wreck, unable to string a sentence or understand what
was going on. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">I was sent home,
and went to see my ever-sensible and very pragmatic GP; I explained my failure
to her, my inability to do the job I so wanted to be good at. What she told me
was shocking, </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">“Take time off or you’ll be having your first nervous breakdown”.
</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">How could this have happened? I was
dedicated, conscientious, and hard working. What I failed to appreciate at the
time was that there is a world of difference between being a capable person,
and having the experience and fortitude required to cope with this highly
stressful profession. So, what’s the solution?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Stress and crisis
management are part of the role of the child protection social worker. I am of
the opinion that to avoid burn out, we must firstly be brutally honest about
our feelings; don’t make the mistake I did and try to be superwoman, bravely
battling on, fearful of being thought of as a failures. We must feel safe to
share our anxieties and confide our fears and gain the support we need to
continue doing the job. Secondly, we need to develop EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Emotionally
resilient people share certain traits, which all of us can learn to develop.
Here are just a few ideas, which may help.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><b><u><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">A Few Key Elements to Emotional
Resilience<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><u><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Know
Your Boundaries<o:p></o:p></span></u></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Take control and
be decisive. BE HONEST - If you need help or advice; ask for it, and if you
need to say no, say no. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><u><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Develop
Self-Awareness<o:p></o:p></span></u></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Learn to reflect on
what is causing you to be anxious and why. Be prepared to adapt and be flexible
where possible – bend don’t break. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><u><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Acceptance<o:p></o:p></span></u></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Be realistic about
what you can and cannot change; accept you don’t always have all the answers. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><u><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Be
Reflective<o:p></o:p></span></u></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Step back and
consider all possibilities. See the bigger picture, discuss problems with colleagues,
and listen to advice. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><u><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Keep a
Sense of Perspective <o:p></o:p></span></u></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">You cannot do it
all; do the best you can and keep a positive self-image. The storm WILL pass. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><u><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Take Care
of Yourself<o:p></o:p></span></u></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Healthy eating,
sleep, relaxation, and exercise. Have outside interests and a positive network
of people. Maintain a sense of humour and learn to appreciate silence. Run,
write, play sports, cry, sing, meditate, breathe. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">This is not an
exhaustive list by any means. There are a multitude of ways, people can develop
their emotional resilience. This is simply a short list of ideas, which may
bring some immediate insight and encouragement. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">In my case, I made
the decision to take 12 months out of social work. I started a successful business, and spent the time reflecting on how and why things
had gone so wrong. When I felt confident that I had developed a realistic
perspective, I returned to child protection and found that in adopting the
above suggestions and more, I managed to keep a healthy balance. Even on the
most stressful days, I was still able to say I loved my work and while social work will always be stressful, I have never again suffered such debilitating stress
to the level that it prevented me from doing my job. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify;">
<span class="oneclick-link"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: cyan; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "comic sans ms";"><span style="background-color: cyan; font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 28px;"><i><b>Known to Social Services</b></i> is available via Amazon and other outlets as a download or paperback. To find out more about this and my other work, please visit the website. I am currently working on a sequel, which will look at the world of child trafficking. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: cyan;"><a href="http://www.freyabarrington.com/"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">www.freyabarrington.com</span></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15760251169259291895noreply@blogger.com6Midi-Pyrénées, France44.0859426 1.520862399999941841.1525801 -3.6427116000000579 47.019305100000004 6.6844363999999414tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6410779310389235912.post-12296341165484947512015-10-05T06:15:00.000-07:002015-10-05T06:15:55.109-07:00A Week of Book Promotion in Malta and Gozo<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Steve and I have just returned from a
whirlwind visit to Malta and its smaller sister island, Gozo. As many of
you are aware, we lived in Gozo up until April of this year. The purpose of the visit was to promote my
debut novel, <i>Known to Social Services</i>, which was the number one social work
book on Amazon UK. Also to raise awareness for my new book,<i> Gozo Is the Grass
Greener?</i> Which is an account of our move to Gozo from the UK in December 2010. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Monday 28th September<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">First stop was to the Lotus tal-Qalb
Centre in Gharb, Gozo, where we received an enthusiastic welcome from a group of
about 30 people. I am indebted to Sue Lister for extending the invitation to
me, and to my dear friend Penny Dix for suggesting it in the first place. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">A warm welcome from Penny</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Thank you to everyone who came along to listen</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">My dear friend Pat has her copy signed</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">I think this was a fairly orderly queue for books!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Thanks Janet!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Our Valda!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">I know Jackie is one of many people who has read BOTH books</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">It
was a thoroughly enjoyable evening, where we met old friends and new and were
pleased to have some brisk book sales </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 14pt;">J</span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">BIG thank you to Sue for organising the event</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Many thanks to you all for your
hospitality.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Tuesday 29<sup>th</sup> September<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">We made the short trip over to Malta
where I delivered an evening talk to the Maltese Association of Social Workers.
This was a mutually informative evening where I shared information regarding
social work in the UK, and learned how my colleagues in Malta work.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">With Faraxa Director Joanne Micallef</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Book signing with senior lecturer Charles Pace </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Known to Social Services proved very popular!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">There is a marked difference in the way
the two countries approach the issues within social work, which provoked a lively
discussion. Again, the book was in demand, with other social workers bringing
existing copies for me to sign.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Many thanks to the organisers for
inviting me here.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Wednesday 30<sup>th</sup> September<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Wednesday saw us up bright an early for
an 8am lift to the ferry, which took us back to Gozo for a morning talk at the
Oasi Centre in Victoria. Oasi is a non-profit organisation which offers vital
help and support to people struggling with addictions of drugs or alcohol. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">The audience at Oasi - front seats filled up later!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Speaking to an audience of social
workers, counsellors and teachers, as well as members of the public, I firstly addressed
the issue of alcohol addiction and its negative impact on children and their
families</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Using real case examples in the form of
genograms, I then spoke on both positive and negative case outcomes in families
where drug addiction had been a major factor. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Again, there was relevant discussion
and ideas from all parties, with great interest in the book.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">This lady bought a copy for her son who is in the UK doing social work</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Our dear friends Honor and Manwel get their copy signed</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 18.6667px;"> Kind thanks to the organisers for the invitation.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Please visit </span><a href="http://www.oasi.org.mt/" style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">http://www.oasi.org.mt/</a><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;"> for more information
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<b><u><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Friday 2<sup>nd</sup> October<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Friday was a busy day; I was
interviewed by Sarah Carabott of the Times of Malta. The article will appear in
the paper in the very near future.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">With Sarah Carabott of The Times of Malta</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Later in the day, we went to the
University of Malta where I delivered a talk to students and staff. Using
exercises, I tried to demonstrate some of the issues faced by children who have
to enter the Care System. I also gave another case example, where an accurate
assessment of the presenting risks to the children had been essential to the
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">With Director of Faraxa Books Joanne Micallef and Sarah who helped to organise the event</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">I am grateful to the organisers for the
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Book signings with students and staff. Here with the Head of the Social Work Department, Maureen Cole</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">This was a busy but successful week for
us. We also had some time to catch up with good friends in Gozo, though we did
not get to see as many people as we would have liked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">I would like to say a big thank you to
my ever supportive husband Steve for all his help, and also to Joanne Micallef,
the director of publishers Faraxa who are responsible for putting both books
into print. Joanne’s assistance in getting around in both Malta and Gozo was
essential to the smooth running of the itinerary, which I am pleased to say,
cyclones and storms aside, went without a hitch </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 14pt;">J</span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Known to Social Services and Gozo Is
the Grass Greener? Are both available via Amazon. They are also available in
bookshops in Gozo and Malta or direct from Faraxa.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">I am currently working on the sequel to
Known to Social Services, which will be about child trafficking. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Handwriting'; font-size: 18pt;">Freya<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15760251169259291895noreply@blogger.com0Midi-Pyrénées, France44.0859426 1.520862399999941841.1525801 -3.6427116000000579 47.019305100000004 6.6844363999999414tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6410779310389235912.post-56168229639664645182015-09-21T05:11:00.000-07:002015-09-21T06:27:29.821-07:00Visit to Malta and Gozo<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">As many of you are aware, we are now living in the South of France, where I am working on another book. I am extremely pleased to report that I
have been invited to Malta to delivery several talks in regard to both my books
- the bestselling social work book, <i>Known
to Social Services</i> and my 2<sup>nd</sup> book, <i>Gozo Is the Grass Greener? <o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">So pleased to visit Malta and Gozo to promote both my books, which were published by <u>Faraxa Books </u></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Itinerary<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;"><b>Monday September 28<sup>th</sup></b> at Lotus
tal-Qalb Centre in Gharb, Gozo from 7 – 9pm; I will be giving a talk on both my
books and signing books as well – <b>All are welcome</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;"><b>Tuesday 29<sup>th</sup> September</b> from
6pm – I will be speaking to the Maltese Association of Social Workers<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;"><b>Wednesday 30<sup>th</sup> September</b> at
11am – I am guest speaker at Oasi in Victoria, Gozo - everyone is welcome<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-xTfro0y4KzQ/VgAFeol6pNI/AAAAAAAABMs/CULkmVI2Fts/s1600/Poster%2BOasi.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-xTfro0y4KzQ/VgAFeol6pNI/AAAAAAAABMs/CULkmVI2Fts/s320/Poster%2BOasi.png" width="222" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;"><b>Invitation to Oasi - ALL ARE WELCOME</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;"><b>Friday 2<sup>nd</sup> October at 12pm</b> –
for an interview by The Times of Malta<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;"><b>Friday 2<sup>nd</sup> October from 4pm</b> –
I will be speaking to social workers and other professionals at The University
of Malta<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Many thanks to Joanne Micallef, the Director
of <b>Faraxa Books</b>, for her hard work in supporting me in
this visit and in organising most of the engagements. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">I hope to see some of you at the
events.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Handwriting'; font-size: 18pt;">Freya<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15760251169259291895noreply@blogger.com0Midi-Pyrénées, France44.0859426 1.520862399999941841.1525801 -3.6427116000000579 47.019305100000004 6.6844363999999414tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6410779310389235912.post-9649667918524534932015-09-08T07:26:00.001-07:002015-09-09T09:30:24.596-07:00Share with Care - a cautionary tale about sharing unsolicited material on Facebook<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Facebook;
love it or loathe it? Come on, be honest, when you turn on your computer,
laptop, tablet or phone in a morning, what’s the first thing you log on to? I
bet its Facebook. I’m no different - how
we love to see the red alerts, which indicate that people have “liked” what we
have had to say, or better still, they made a comment about it, or shared it
with others. Best of all is the personal message – we all like to get those and
so much easier than email.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">For
most of us, Facebook is a way to keep in touch with friends and family, and
when used appropriately, it’s a great social medium. For others like me, it’s a
fantastic platform to promote business or, in my case, my books. For me,
Facebook was an absolutely invaluable place to promote and share what was going
on in the process of getting published, and I am eternally grateful to all my friends, family and followers who
“re-shared” my posts and supported me in making my books successful. </span></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-EwU6N_vsOY8/VTzPh_FKjZI/AAAAAAAAAnc/BCHeQXOsbxE/s1600/Freya%2BFront%2BCover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-EwU6N_vsOY8/VTzPh_FKjZI/AAAAAAAAAnc/BCHeQXOsbxE/s320/Freya%2BFront%2BCover.jpg" width="219" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 28px; text-align: justify;">My debut novel, the bestselling Known to Social Services</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">My recently released 2nd book</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Like
everything however, there is a downside to Facebook; take the dozens and dozens of posts
that we plough through on a daily basis, often of no interest or particular value to us, but
which sidetrack us with their demands on our time and attention as we trawl through. I don't really need to know what the weather is doing on the other side of the world. Neither is it really necessary for me to watch the hundredth video of the day about an amusing
cat, dog, horse, hamster, parrot, elephant, piglet (Hands held up - I’m as
guilty as anyone for putting those on from time to time) Despite this, we all find ourselves spending what can amount to hours, staring
at the screen and then wondering where our day disappeared to!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Funny yes, but a bit to close to the truth for many of us!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">I
am not a fan of the games available via Facebook, but I have friends who love
them. I don’t think though, that everyone realises that when you play a game
via Facebook, it redirects you to an unsecure site, which can make you
susceptible to being hacked. It can also become highly addictive. I have
several friends who closed down their Facebook account for this reason – they
became addicted to the games! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Look familiar?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Yes,
Facebook is here to stay, or so it would seem, and most of us, myself included,
will continue to enjoy what it has to offer. There is one trend however, which
I have noticed creeping in which disturbs me, and I say this with my social
worker’s head on. I have seen a few
posts lately, in which the person posting is asking people to re-post and
share. Often I have no idea who these
people are, but they get onto my page via friends re-posting. So why am I
disturbed? Let me explain.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">The
last post of this nature concerned a little boy who looked approximately around
four years of age. There was a cute picture of said child and a suitably heart
rending story to go with it. It went something like this.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">“Please
help - this little boy is missing and we need your help to locate him. If you
have seen this child, please send a me a pm and help reunite him with his family
who are missing him”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Yep,
that was it – so why the worry? Surely we should all rush to re-post that one,
right?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ERcNne9yiiA/Ve7rEDcG3ZI/AAAAAAAABI8/xEQQei2HGxI/s1600/download.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ERcNne9yiiA/Ve7rEDcG3ZI/AAAAAAAABI8/xEQQei2HGxI/s1600/download.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Sad stories tug at our heartstrings, but wait ..... what's the REAL story?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Well,
as I said, I had my social work head on, when I read it, which raised my
suspicions about the post. Why was the child not named? Why were we not told
where he had gone missing from or what he was wearing at the time? Why were the
circumstances of his so called “disappearance” not shared? Why was there
nothing on the news about him?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Having
worked as a child protection social worker, I am sadly all too familiar with
the necessity of removing children from their families for reasons of
safety. I am also all too aware of the
(understandable) lengths parents will go to, to try and track down their
children, and using social media is a favourite. My concern is, that the child
in the photograph may well have been a child who was removed from his family
for good reason. The child may well be in a foster placement, many miles from
his original home. By using Facebook and telling a story similar to the one
above, is a perfect way to glean information about the child’s potential
whereabouts. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">I
have had to move children more than once, due to exactly this scenario. Parents
have managed to track down their child through Facebook, and believe me, it
does not end well for anyone, least of all the child.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">I
have known foster carers who have had angry and hostile parents at their door
at all hours of the night, demanding that they hand over their child – the
child who they traced via social media. Not good.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Here is a link to an excellent article in the Guardian more than 5 years ago - yes, it was happening then;</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;"><span style="font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 28px;">http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2010/may/23/birth-parents-stalk-adopted-facebook</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Another
scenario is where a child is deemed to be safe with one parent but not the
other. Let’s say that the mother has been a victim of serious domestic violence
and the court has awarded her custody of the child, but denied the aggressor
any visiting rights. The mother flees to start a new life, but the aggrieved
and violent father traces the child using social media and in such a case, the
results can be truly catastrophic. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">The
final scenario, which was of great concern, was a post about a beautiful young
woman who was reported to have been killed overseas. The person posting the
tale, said she was a close friend of the victims and accused the woman’s boyfriend of her murder. She asked for help in
tracking him down and pleased with us to re-share the post. Again, there was no possible way of knowing if it was even true. I
Googled the story and found no news reports on it whatsoever; no mention of the so called murdered victim and yet ........... the
story had over 150,000 shares! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Facebook
can be a wonderful way to maintain long distance relationships, share family
photos and much more. However, please accept this word of caution and be very
selective in what you share. Read the small print and ask yourself why this
post is on Facebook and what exactly is it asking; more importantly who is
asking and why? <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><u>Post Script</u></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><u><br /></u></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">I am grateful to one of my social work colleagues for bringing her excellent blog to my attention. The same subject matter was discussed in this blog in June of this year, and can be read by following the link below.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;"><span style="font-size: 18.6667px; line-height: 28px;">http://barefootsocialwork.weebly.com/blog/the-dangers-of-social-media-for-missing-children </span></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: 'Segoe Script', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">Freya<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15760251169259291895noreply@blogger.com0Midi-Pyrénées, France44.0859426 1.520862399999941841.1525801 -3.6427116000000579 47.019305100000004 6.6844363999999414tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6410779310389235912.post-59905545428555566102015-08-11T06:37:00.000-07:002015-08-11T06:37:23.141-07:00Into The Bear Cave!<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Part
of this blog is an extract from my new book, Gozo Is the Grass Greener? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">www.gozoisthegrassgreener.blogspot.com </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"> -------------------------------------------<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Living with a partner who suffers from
bipolar disorder can be a bit like following an angry bear into a cave and then
poking it with a stick!<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;"> -------------------------------------------<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">And
yes, I speak from experience. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">My
husband Steve suffers from bipolar disorder, and while for the great majority
of the time, he is able to live a fairly balanced life, there are times, when
it gets the better of him. The past fortnight is a case in point and has, shall
we say, been ……. Interesting. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Bipolar disorder is also sometimes
known as manic depression and for good reason. On a “down” day, sufferers might
be depressed to the point of suicide, or just quiet and subdued; on an “up”
day, they can be manic, irrational and spontaneous to the point of being
ridiculous. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">The story of how Steve and I met is covered
in detail in my new book, Gozo Is the Grass Greener? For a while, like other
people in love, we lived in a bubble; oblivious to anything else, with all our
energy going into our new and exciting relationship. Steve was highly
attentive, loving, considerate and kind. He was also, unbeknown to me,
extremely mentally unwell. He was, in
short, a ticking time bomb on countdown to self-destruction.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Steve on a good day</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">I was oblivious to this, and had no
idea that the man I had fallen in love with was labouring under such a huge
burden. He had told me that he "could be moody", but to be honest, I was so in
love with the man, he could have said, “By the way, I’m a serial killer” and
I’d have smiled and said, “That’s not going to be a problem”. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">In the past, Steve had days so dark,
that he would wake up in the mornings and wish to die. He seriously
contemplated taking his own life, but in reality, I simply don’t think he had
the energy. He had no control over his thoughts; they were a never ending
intrusion on his mind and wore him down, sending him into the shadows of
obscurity and loneliness. His depression
was like a snake winding itself round his heart and soul and strangling the
life out of him. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Whilst Steve’s
suffering was terrible and painful, depression also has a devastating impact on
the person who is in the caring role. To watch someone you love, struggle to
come to terms with their inner demons and be defeated over and over again is
almost too much to bear. To watch, as they are overwhelmed and crushed by
something, which is out of their control is totally draining. I developed a
raging resentment and anger towards the illness that is depression and saw it
as the enemy in our midst. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">To understand your adversary gives you
more power in overcoming it and having victory. With that in mind, </span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 18.6666660308838px; line-height: 28px;">I spent a long time researching Steve’s condition, and began to understand more about it. </span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">I finally came to a place of
accepting that Steve could not help how he responded, and had no dominion
whatsoever over his mood. He simply could not “cheer up” at will. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">After enjoying a fairly stable period of time, Steve’s depression crept up on him
again 2 weeks ago. As is often the case, there was no particular reason for it.
However, I could see it reflected in his eyes, which give him away by becoming
flat, dark and angry. Having learned to recognise the signs and symptoms of a
depressive episode, I galvanised myself for a few bumpy days. I knew from
experience that Steve would withdraw, not eat properly and have difficulty
sleeping, or, sleep all the time. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">One of the worst thing you can do to a
depressed person is to tell them to pull themselves together, or worse still,
tell them to be thankful for what they have and draw some irrelevant
comparison. Depression is no respecter of persons. In fact, it’s a
disrespectful sonofabitch full stop. You can have all the money and fame in the
world and still be depressed. It has nothing whatsoever to do with material
things. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">One of the problems for me is that I am
a trained and qualified social worker. I am supposed to possess skills, which
enable me to deal with such crises, to take them in my stride. I can tell you
that this is not the case, which only serves to add to my feelings of inadequacy. To
feel the cold wind of indifference blowing around you, replacing the love that
used to occupy that space is excruciating. One minute your partner is loving and
attentive, and the next, brooding and resentful. Steve has tried to explain to
me many times that it is NOTHING to do with me, but it is hard to accept this,
when it feels as if it is directed at you. I suffer agonies of soul searching,
trying to identify what I might have done to cause his low mood, when deep
down, I know it really isn’t me, it’s the nature of depression.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">I feel I should handle it better; maybe
not get so down myself when a depressive attack strikes, but those of you who
know what I’m talking about, will also know how hard it is to separate yourself
from the illness. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">And so into the bear cave.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Steve on a bad day!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Steve’s depression was lasting longer
than usual. I had tried in vain to identify an easy solution, because there
wasn’t one. He had withdrawn into the bear cave, but I got to the point where I
felt angry. Not angry with Steve, but angry with his condition for robbing us
both of the happiness we should be enjoying. Once I had reached this point, I
knew I could approach Steve calmly and objectively. I took my stick (not
literally you understand) and marched into that bear cave. No response, so I
poked him repeatedly until I got a response, and believe me, it wasn’t a good
one!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">I knew I had provoked a reaction,
and despite it being a negative one, more anger was better than the indifferent
apathy, which had overwhelmed him. Over the 2 week period, Steve had continually
denied that he was depressed, citing tiredness, and other reasons for him being
withdrawn. I kept on prodding until he
reached a point where he was able to accept that he was indeed depressed – more
so than he had realised. Now, let me say
this; it is not always productive to poke an angry bear! In this case, it was
the right approach, but on another occasion, I might avoid such action. If you
are caring for, or living with someone with bipolar disorder, you must
understand that what works one day, will not necessarily work another day, or
for that matter, ever again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">I feel I have to be creative in
supporting Steve, knowing when to be quiet and let him be, and knowing equally
when to take a stick, follow him into his cave and poke him. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">I wish that all of you who suffer from
this debilitating condition find a way of getting a handle on it. For those of
you who are in a caring role, I would say this; make it your business to know
as much as possible about bipolar disorder. Do not resort to saying, “Oh I give up” when
your loved one leaves for the bear cave. Remember, no matter how bad it feels
it is NOT personal. Your partner, friend, or relative, needs unconditional love
and support through their darkest hour, and you may be the only person who is
able to give it to them. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">For us, this episode thankfully ended with Steve talking openly about how he felt and us both identifying new strategies, which might help us the next time ....... and let's not kid ourselves, there will be a next time. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">I will leave you with the wise words of
Sun Tzu, who was a 6<sup>th</sup> Century General and Military Strategist.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">If you
know your enemies and know yourself, you will not be imperilled in a hundred
battles ……. If you do not know your enemies, nor yourself, you will be imperilled
in every single battle. <span style="color: red;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">The issue of bipolar disorder and its
effect on Steve and I is examined in a chapter of my 2<sup>nd</sup> novel, <i>Gozo; Is the Grass Greener?</i> It is
available via Amazon as a paperback or Kindle download along with my debut
novel, <i>Known to Social Services</i> – <a href="http://www.knowntosocialservices.com/">www.knowntosocialservices.com</a> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Both books are published by Faraxa
Books.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Handwriting'; font-size: 18pt;">Freya <o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15760251169259291895noreply@blogger.com0Midi-Pyrénées, France44.0859426 1.520862399999941841.1525801 -3.6427116000000579 47.019305100000004 6.6844363999999414tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6410779310389235912.post-91098451054469843412015-07-23T02:37:00.002-07:002015-07-23T02:37:41.407-07:00Known to Social Services; challenging the stereotype of the social worker<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">In October 2013, after 17 years of
working with children and their families, I made a life changing decision. It
was not the first decision I had made of this kind, having already made the
jump from living in the UK to living on the beautiful island of Gozo, which is
part of the Maltese archipelago in the Mediterranean. However, it was a
decision, which took courage, a certain amount of risk, and a touch of devil
may care! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">No great hardship in moving here!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">With support and encouragement from my
husband Steve, I decided to give up my job as a social worker, in order to
focus full time on writing the book I had been considering for many years. A book, which I hoped would raise awareness of
the crucial, and formidable task social workers undertake, often, with little
or no positive recognition. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">The title to me was obvious, <i>Known to Social Services</i>, as this is inevitably what the media headlines always proclaim every time there is a high profile case. <span style="color: red; font-style: italic;">"The Child Was Known to Social Services" </span>they declare as they search for a scapegoat. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">The #1 bestselling Social Work book on Amazon UK</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Having worked on the front line of
child protection for most of my career, I inevitably witnessed a great deal of
suffering and sadness in the children I </span><span style="font-size: 18.6666660308838px;">endeavored</span><span style="font-size: 14pt;"> to help. While my role
always remained child </span><span style="font-size: 18.6666660308838px;">focused</span><span style="font-size: 14pt;">, it was impossible not to feel the pain that the
parents and wider families were experiencing as well. Most of the time, my colleagues and I walked
a fine line between protecting the children, and maintaining a working
relationship with the families with whom we were involved, often for lengthy
periods of time. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">This was no easy task; mistrust, and
fear were commonplace and it was not unusual to be on the receiving end of open
hostility and abuse. Within social work, there are common themes, which arise
repeatedly. Of these, there are several, which in my experience, are more
prevalent; the direct abuse of children is the most typical. Other frequent
issues, include, domestic abuse, neglect, mental health problems in parents, or
their dependence on drugs and alcohol. Other less commonly seen, were more
culturally specific issues such as female genital mutilation. I also dealt with
paedophile rings and worked with children who had been groomed and recruited
for work in the sex trade. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">In all of this, I found that no matter
how hard I, and my colleagues worked, and in spite of total dedication to our
jobs; social workers were usually portrayed in a negative light. I have lost count of the people who said, “I
hate social workers”, usually based on nothing more than the media representation
of the profession as a whole. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">After a chat with the students at the University of Derby, where I completed my own training.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">I accept that those families who have
had their children removed from their care, may feel that they have every
“right” to hate social workers. However, children are not taken from their
families on a whim – there will have been good reason for social workers to be
involved, and sound evidence presented to a court. It is then the decision of a
bench of magistrates, or a judge as to whether or not the children should
remain with their parents.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Social workers cannot just “take”
children away. Even in the case of an extreme emergency, where a child has been
harmed, or is at risk of imminent harm. Social workers still have no “power” to
remove a child from a situation, relying instead on the police, or an emergency
Order from the court. Usually, the actual process of removing a child permanently
from their family, is an extremely lengthy one. Within this timescale, parents
are given ample time and relevant support, in order to make the necessary
changes, which could lead to the family being reconciled. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">My frustration at the lack of
understanding of this process, coupled with the inaccurate representation of
social workers was a key factor in motivating me to write my debut novel, <i>Known to Social Services</i>. Using an
authentic narrative, and drawing on my own experiences, I created the fictitious,
yet realistic world of the Deacon Hill Estate. The central character, Diane
Foster, provides an accurate portrayal of the hard working and highly committed
social workers I have known. However, despite Diane's best efforts; her personal
and professional life unravel throughout the course of the book, with
devastating consequences. Fiction, yes, but worryingly typical of the lives of
many dedicated social work staff.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Through the character of Diane, I have </span><span style="font-size: 18.6666660308838px;">endeavored</span><span style="font-size: 14pt;"> to highlight the almost impossible task faced by social workers on
a daily basis. The relentless workload, the contentious and avoidant clients,
the never ending horror of child abuse, dramatic court cases, and much more. I examine the common and
uncommon, themes of social work, and highlight the stark atrocities suffered by
too many of our children. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">I am very pleased to have been able to visit many Universities within the UK, which offer Social Work as an option, and speak to the students there. Many of them openly admitted that they had no idea that the role of a social worker was quite so demanding, and several told me that <i>Known to Social Services</i> had offered them a real insight into the grass roots reality of the career they had chosen. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">It is my sincere hope, that my writing
will, continue not only to challenge stereotypes, but will also raise awareness of the often thankless task social
workers perform. I would also hope that people, who perhaps are not mindful of
the parallel universe social workers operate in, would be better informed, and
to that end, be less </span><span style="font-size: 18.6666660308838px;">judgmental</span><span style="font-size: 14pt;"> of the profession, which I am proud to have
been a part of. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Raising awareness for Social Workers at Radio Lincoln with Melvyn Prior</span><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Known to Social Services</span></i><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;"> is available via Amazon worldwide. It was the
number one social work book on Amazon UK and is published by Faraxa Books.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">I am currently working on the sequel to
<i>Known to Social Services.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">For more information, please visit my
website;<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">www.knowntosocialservices.com </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">My 2nd novel, <i>Gozo, Is the Grass Greener?</i> has just been released by Faraxa Books. This book provides a light hearted look at our move from the UK to the island of Gozo. For more information, please visit;</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Handwriting'; font-size: 16pt;">Freya <o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15760251169259291895noreply@blogger.com0Midi-Pyrénées, France44.0859426 1.520862399999941841.1525801 -3.6427116000000579 47.019305100000004 6.6844363999999414tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6410779310389235912.post-32595349197973188932015-07-15T08:30:00.002-07:002015-07-15T08:30:34.625-07:00It's OUT! Gozo Is the Grass Greener released today by Faraxa Books<br />
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Gozo, Is the Grass Greener has been released today on Amazon. Please follow the
links below.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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their website </span><a href="http://www.faraxabooks.com/"><span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">www.faraxabooks.com</span></a><span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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all the wonderful friends we made there. I hope you will enjoy it, and if you
have not been lucky enough to visit this gem of an island, I hope this book
will play a part in you visiting one day and seeing for yourself why Gozo is so
close to our hearts.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Gozo is the Grass Greener is the story
of the bestselling author Freya Barrington and her husband Steve, when they
moved from the UK to live on the small Mediterranean island of Gozo in the
Maltese archipelago. Illustrated with numerous photographs, the book is filled
with laugh out loud anecdotes as well as more sombre stories for which
handkerchiefs will be needed, including an emotive, yet candid account of a
real life struggle with bipolar disorder. Freya writes with unreserved honesty,
about how she and Steve met, and fell in love. She goes on to share the story
of their joint singing career, the manic drive across Europe; their fun loving
lurchers Ollie and Ralph, and many other delightfully amusing tales about
living in Gozo for over four years. Gozo Is the Grass Greener has widespread
appeal making it suitable for local and non-local readers alike. </span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Handwriting'; font-size: 16pt;">Freya <o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15760251169259291895noreply@blogger.com0Midi-Pyrénées, France44.0859426 1.520862399999941841.1525801 -3.6427116000000579 47.019305100000004 6.6844363999999414tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6410779310389235912.post-60718679475052818112015-07-11T02:19:00.002-07:002015-07-11T02:19:30.731-07:00More great comments and reviews for social work novel; Known to Social Services<br />
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<span style="color: #404040; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">My new book, <i>Gozo; Is the Grass
Greener?</i> Is due out any time now which is really exciting. However, my debut
novel, <i>Known to Social Services</i> (known as KTSS in some forums), published by
Faraxa Books, continues to attract positive comments on social media sites.
Here are a few;<br />
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* Thanks to JW for buying me the 'Known to Social Services' book by Freya
Barrington. Started chapter 4 at 1.30ish & then couldn't put it down - just
finished the whole book!!. I now have a neglected husband and greyhound!!!,
kitchens a tip and no idea what we are having for tea!!. Definitely a
recommended read!, can't wait for the next one J.L.<br />
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Loved KTSS.. very helpful for me as a NQSW . I am very intrigued about the
ending... when can we expect a sequel :)? K.D.<br />
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Recently finished @freyabarrington'Known to Social Services' - a great teaching
tool as it deals with sw processes, frustrations & people A.B.<br />
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* I am on Chapter 22 I really like the way you bring all the characters
together it really opened my eyes to what Social workers are up against well
written. F.R.<br />
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* I just wanted to let you know that I've read your book whilst in Tenerife!!
What a fabulously written novel. You social workers are remarkable people doing
a tough job in a society where people just look for blame. I thoroughly enjoyed
the book and genuinely can't wait for book 2!!! Well done you! E.P.<br />
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* Started reading known to social services by the great Freya Barrington can't
put it down!! F.R.<br />
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* Hi my friend H wants to tell you your book is excellent. She finished it at
1:45 this morning (H isn’t too good on the Internet) H.G.<br />
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* I've just read this very powerful book. It's a must read! It's emotional,
shocking, scary and horrific in parts but I promise you won't be able to put it
down. J.H.<br />
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* Finished your book last night it was fantastic, wish it had kept going
forever I just did not want it to end. Just fascinating well done you. V.B.<br />
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* Read a book yesterday from cover to cover in one sitting, bet you can't guess
what it is called. I thoroughly enjoyed it, makes you realise just what effect
the media can have the public's opinion. A brilliant story, well done Freya.
E.S.<br />
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Thank you to everyone who has supported me in my new career as an author :)</span><span style="color: #404040; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"></span><span style="color: #404040; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15760251169259291895noreply@blogger.com0Midi-Pyrénées, France44.0859426 1.520862399999941841.1525801 -3.6427116000000579 47.019305100000004 6.6844363999999414tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6410779310389235912.post-45272156999852252752015-07-04T07:23:00.000-07:002015-07-04T07:23:14.355-07:00NEW book cover for GOZO, IS THE GRASS GREENER?<br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">I am
absolutely delighted to unveil the new front cover for my forthcoming novel,
GOZO, IS THE GRASS GREENER? Published by Faraxa Books. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">The fantastic book cover of my new book</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">The book looks
at our move from the UK, to the beautiful island of Gozo, which is part of the
Maltese Archipelago, and also tells the story of how Steve and I met. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">There are
many other anecdotes along the way, with stories about crazy lurchers, a manic
drive across Europe and tales from our time in Gozo, which I hope will make you
smile. Who knows, you may even recognise yourself in there </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 14pt;">J</span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Featuring Ollie the lurcher!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">I am
especially thrilled to have secured the talents of Michael Martin for the
illustration. Michael illustrates Alex Graham's Fred Basset cartoon strip in
the Daily Mail </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 14pt;">J</span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">The book will
be available via Amazon as a paperback and an E book and will include
photographs. It is due for release this month, so watch this space. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Please can I
ask that as many of you as possible tell your friends about this and let's
share with as many people as possible why Gozo is one of the best places on
earth to be </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 14pt;">J</span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;"> many thanks</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Beautiful Gozo</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Handwriting'; font-size: 16pt;">Freya <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15760251169259291895noreply@blogger.com0Midi-Pyrénées, France44.0859426 1.520862399999941841.1525801 -3.6427116000000579 47.019305100000004 6.6844363999999414tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6410779310389235912.post-8465551766755916812015-06-29T03:00:00.000-07:002015-06-30T03:21:40.389-07:00Sticks and Stones<br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Everyone is entitled to their own
opinion.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">It’s a comment we have all heard or
made at some time in our lives.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Sometimes however, our opinions lean
more towards judgement or criticism …………………………………... <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">No one likes to be criticised. Being
critical however, is as much a part of our psyche as breathing, and we are all
guilty of it at some time or another. For people in the public eye, it’s worse.
Take the TV show, “Britain’s Got Talent” for example; I don’t watch this, but
from what I’ve heard, it turns even the mildest mannered person into an expert
arm chair critic. Opinions are freely given and obviously, their
son/daughter/second cousin twice removed could do better. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Of course, in this context, it is
nothing more than a bit of harmless fun, and the people involved can’t hear
what’s being said. However, there are many places where people’s opinions cause
hurt and confusion, and that is quite another matter.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Last night, I was searching for some
information regarding a certain diet (I blame the French bread and the all-too-delicious-soft-cheese).
I discovered a forum, which I thought might offer some useful information.
However, my interest turned to shock as I read some of the comments therein. It
seemed that some people had joined the forum, not to discuss diets or healthy
eating, but to use it as a platform for their unwelcome opinions. One man in
particular, seemed to be the commander in chief of unpleasant remarks. He was
quick to point out that “he was not overweight”, but then posted multiple derogatory
comments in regard to people who were. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">The comments he made were not only
downright rude, but breathtakingly arrogant and at times abusive. Clearly the
man had issues. Of course, his diatribe provoked several angry responses, which
only served to throw fuel on the fire, and so the arguments were prolonged and
wasted pages and pages of space. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">I left the forum without one useful
piece of information, and with a feeling of huge sadness. Why do some among us,
feel the need to criticise other people so harshly, often people we have never
even met? Yes, we ARE all entitled to an opinion, and I am in favour of free
speech, but this ……….. </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 14pt;">L</span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Facebook is another classic example.
Visit any group, whether it’s a buying and selling site, a cookery site, or a
dog lover’s forum. You will quickly identify the protagonists. You know they
type of person I mean. They are the ones, who feel the need to comment on everybody
else’s posts. They know everything, and make corrections freely; oh and God
forbid if you should spell something wrong. You could be forgiven for thinking
they were the site administrator! Their opinion is the only correct one, and
you are left demoralised and wondering if it’s even worth being part of the
group. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">A good friend of mine said recently, “Some
people would argue with their own reflection”. True.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">So why am I telling you this? Well, as
someone who has made a new career as an author, I find I am (more than ever) the
subject of people’s opinions, or more to the point my books are. My debut
novel, <i>Known to Social Services</i> was
the number one social work book on Amazon UK – a fantastic achievement, and
one, which took me completely by surprise. I have had some extremely positive and
encouraging reviews, and of course, some not so positive. This is to be
expected, but the real test for me was dealing with critical comments. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Woohoo, my book went to #1 in the social work book category</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Anyone can post a review on Amazon,
Goodreads, or on any other literary forum. Authors have no control over the reviews, and
even if you suspect it is someone you know who is “out to get you” so to speak,
there is nothing you can do about it. The temptation to respond however, is
almost overwhelming. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">People who make unkind or abusive
comments on the internet are commonly known as “trolls”. Another very wise
friend of mine and fellow author (thanks cowboy) gave me an invaluable piece of advice, he said,
Freya, “Never, ever talk to the trolls”. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Don't talk to the trolls </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">I took this advice to heart and accept
that everyone IS entitled to their own opinion, and even if it is one I don’t
agree with, I can simply acknowledge that it is their opinion and move on with
my day. I do not need to get into a debate with them, as this rarely ends well,
as my brief foray onto the diet forum has demonstrated. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">I overcome the critical comments, which
I am happy to report are in the minority by focusing on the positives. My
husband Steve, ever my champion, asked me a few days ago, “How does it feel to
know that someone, somewhere is reading your book”. His question made me
reflect on some of the great feedback I have had from the people who have read
and enjoyed<i> </i>it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">So many positive </span><span style="font-size: 18.6666660308838px;">experiences</span><span style="font-size: 14pt;">, like this one at BBC Radio Lincolnshire with Melvyn Prior</span></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Known to Social Services</span></i><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;"> was written for many reasons. One of the reasons
was to raise the profile of social workers, and to make people aware of how
difficult a job it is. Some of my most rewarding comments have been from student
social workers, for example, this one from N.A.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><i><span style="background: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Gripping book; would definitely
recommend. As a social work student this book gave a fantastic insight of
social work practice in child protection!! I'm hoping there will be another
instalment</span> (Source; Amazon UK)<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">To know that my writing made a positive difference
to someone who is making social work her career was a wonderful feeling.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Or, the one from the lady who hooked up with me
via Twitter and said,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><i><span style="background: white; color: #141823; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Travelled through France last
April started your book in the French Alps. Finished it by Calais. Great read
(SJ)</span></i></b><b><i><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Just thinking about this lady reading
my book on her holiday travels, left me content and smiling.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Criticism, can be valuable, if it is
constructive, kindly delivered and <i>genuinely</i>
meant. Anything other than this is not worth giving your time to. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">We will always have the nay sayers
among us, but we don’t have to listen to them. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">I hope those of you who have been the
victims of criticism in your lives, can find a way to overcome, and focus on
the positives.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Remember …….don’t talk to the trolls,
and never, EVER, feed them </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 14pt;">J</span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Known to Social Services</span></i><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;"> is available via Amazon as a paperback or Kindle
download.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">My debut novel</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">My 2<sup>nd</sup> novel, <i>Gozo; Is the Grass Greener?</i> Will be
available in July.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Both books are published by Faraxa
Books.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Handwriting'; font-size: 16pt;">Freya <o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15760251169259291895noreply@blogger.com0Midi-Pyrénées, France44.0859426 1.520862399999941841.1525801 -3.6427116000000579 47.019305100000004 6.6844363999999414tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6410779310389235912.post-49865215490190559172015-06-25T02:51:00.000-07:002015-06-25T02:51:12.857-07:00Fair Exchange?<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">As many of you are aware, I am a
qualified social worker. During my career, I specialised in child protection,
which is an extremely stressful environment to work in for any length of time.</span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">In 2013, with the support of my husband
Steve, I decided to take a year out of social work to write my debut novel, <i>Known to Social Services</i>, which was published
by Faraxa Books in February this year. The decision was not taken lightly, but,
I am happy to report, it worked out as planned. At the time Steve and I lived
in Gozo, but have more recently moved to the Midi-Pyrenean region of France. As
I explained in my last blog, we are here to offer practical support with DIY
(Steve) and horses (me) in exchange for living in a delightful little cottage
in the middle of nowhere. It also gives me space and time to continue writing. So the “year” I was taking out of social
work, seems to be creeping up to 2 years </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 14pt;">J</span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Our lovely cottage, complete with regular visitor, Grolsch the German Shepherd</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">As I walked down to the horses this
morning in the warm sunshine, I realised that it was precisely 8am. If I were
still working as a social worker, I would, by now, be at my desk in an office.
Usually, an office that had inadequate heat and ventilation, which resulted in
volcanic temperatures in summer, and freezing cold in winter. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">I would be on my 2<sup>nd</sup>
cup of coffee and no doubt my 43<sup>rd</sup> email. I would already be feeling
the stress of the day ahead, and wondering how I would fit in, all the visits,
write the reports and make time to read the electronic files on the 6 new cases
I had been given yesterday.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">There would be meetings to organise,
others to attend, and a host of other things to be done before the clock said
5pm and the office officially closed for the day. Then, I would remain at work
until around 7pm catching up on all the things, which did not get done during
working hours. It would not be unusual for the cleaners to throw me out! In
social work you must expect the unexpected; the children who go missing, the
husband who beats his wife to the point of hospitalisation, leaving their
children requiring foster care. The child who cannot go home from school; as
today is the day they managed to pluck up the courage to tell a teacher what is
really going on at home. One of a hundred things can intrude on an already impossibly
busy day, to the point that you realise there will never be enough hours, hence
the late night working. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Walking down the grassy lane to the
horses, I realised that I have made some exceedingly positive adjustments in my
life. I have exchanged dodging traffic jams for dodging the spider’s webs as
they tremble in the hedges and trees. I have swopped the hours I spent staring
at a computer screen, or dashing around making visits, for time spent feeding,
grooming and riding the horses. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Down the lane to the horses</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">I have uninterrupted time to think and
to write and to appreciate what we have, which is much. While we miss all our
friends in Gozo and our families elsewhere, we feel we are in exactly the right
place.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Sunshine through the trees</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">There are of course other changes,
which on the surface, may not seem so wise. I gave up a good income and the
economic stability, which accompanies it, to embark on this new life and at times
I will admit, I feel a slight panic in this regard. However, on reflection, all
the clichés that we hear, and quote to one another have never seemed more apt.</span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">-<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Life is too short<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">-<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">You only live once<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">-<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">There’s no substitute for your health<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">-<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">If not now, then when?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">It’s not worth the stress<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">When I left social work, I had a few
comments from my colleagues, which in essence, took one of two views …..<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">-<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">It’s alright for some</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; text-indent: -18pt;">- Good for you</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">My answer remains the same now as it did then. It
all comes down to choices. We all have choices, though they often involve
taking risks. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">I can recall being told at 4 years of age that I
was a “risk taker”. I had no idea what it meant at the time but I had
apparently been on a high slide, which my older brother declined to go on.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Having taken the risk to leave a well paid job, move overseas and try my hand as an author, I can say with
absolute honesty; I have no regrets whatsoever. How about you?<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">No regrets in moving here</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Now, where’s my croissant </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 14pt;">J</span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Handwriting'; font-size: 16pt;">Freya<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15760251169259291895noreply@blogger.com0Midi-Pyrénées, France44.0859426 1.520862399999941841.1525801 -3.6427116000000579 47.019305100000004 6.6844363999999414tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6410779310389235912.post-64552364645748616302015-06-23T03:40:00.000-07:002015-06-23T03:40:04.325-07:00NEW book, ..... Gozo; Is the Grass Greener? ...... coming soon. <div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">I am sat outside reading my book, when
I pause and just listen. There is a peace I have not known for several years. All I can hear in the warm Midi-Pyrenean
sunshine is the drowsy buzzing of the ever-industrious bees, and the song of a
bird, as yet unidentified. Blossoms drift by me like snowflakes, landing softly
as if to remind me of their gentleness in passing. Not since I lived in the
Derbyshire Peak District, have I felt such an affinity with nature and the
countryside and I close my eyes and appreciate it, drinking it in like a fine
wine.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt; text-align: justify;">Overhead a buzzard soars lazily on the
hot currents of air, which dispense with any need for him to flap his wings. A
flash of blue, betrays the jay, which lands in the cherry tree across the lane
and begins to pick off the ripening fruit, before anyone else has a chance to
taste it. There is a surprise visit from a normally nocturnal bat, flitting
uncharacteristically in and out of the garage in broad daylight. I duck
instinctively as he flies noiselessly past me; I would not react well were he
to become entangled in my hair!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Sat on the stoop in France in my turn up jeans, which for some reason, Steve finds amusing!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">You may be aware that up until May
2015, Steve and I lived on the beautiful Mediterranean island of Gozo, which is
part of the Maltese archipelago. We lived here for more than four happy years
and made many lifelong friends there. Our decision to leave Gozo was not taken
lightly and when the day of our departure finally arrived, I found myself
wanting to cling to the familiarity of it; to change my mind and stay. However,
we knew that there were new adventures awaiting us, and so with heavy hearts,
we said our goodbyes. We were leaving all the richer, with a store of wonderful
memories embedded in our souls. Many of our dear friends came to the Gozo ferry
to wave us off, or to make the 25 minute journey to Malta with us one last
time. Unsurprisingly, there were copious tears and great sadness mixed with the
joy we had known in living here. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">It was not easy leaving this behind - me in Gozo</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Steve and I are now living about an
hour North of Toulouse, nestled in a tiny hamlet between the towns of Moissac
and Valence D’Agen. We have come here with a dual purpose; several months ago,
I responded to a request for support via a housesitting website. Help was needed
with six horses, and also with DIY around the place. With my background of
equestrianism, and Steve’s unarguable skill with all things practical, it
seemed ideal. As a bonus, there are three lovely dogs and a handful of
chickens! Our new friends, Polly and Howard are a British couple who have
embraced the French way of life here for over 20 years. We are delighted to be
here in such a mutually beneficially exchange. Polly is a supplier of the super comfortable <i>“Trekker”</i> saddles and Howard is in
demand as a bare foot horse trimmer.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-e2H0Seemwo4/VYkwuwEqcRI/AAAAAAAAAq0/GjUWryfo3CM/s1600/Me%2Bon%2BBear.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-e2H0Seemwo4/VYkwuwEqcRI/AAAAAAAAAq0/GjUWryfo3CM/s320/Me%2Bon%2BBear.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Steve and I have our own delightful little
cottage, which will serve us well as a base, from which to explore France, and
also to fulfil the second part of our reason for being here, which is to write.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">And of course, there is always time for coffee </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Life has been somewhat of a whirlwind since
my debut novel, <i>Known to Social Services</i>,
was released in February this year. The book became the number one social work
book on Amazon UK within two days of its release and the publishers, Faraxa
Books, and I worked hard on promoting it; organising book signings, radio
interviews, visits to UK Universities and more. It has been and continues to
be, an exciting time and I remain grateful to all our friends and family who
have been so encouraging and supportive. However, as any author will tell you,
more books need to follow, and so to France. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">My successful debut novel, Known to Social Services, published by Faraxa Books</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">We now feel in the ideal place for me
to continue writing the sequel to<i> Known
to Social Services</i>, which, I am very happy to report, is being requested
regularly. I know I shall have to be very self-disciplined in working on the
sequel, as it would be too easy to settle into this laid back lifestyle, and do
nothing more than ride the horses, fuss the dogs and eat baguettes with good
French cheese! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">This is Grolsch, our </span><span style="font-size: 18.6666660308838px;">regular</span><span style="font-size: 14pt;"> house guest ..... nothing to do with the food of course</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 18.6666660308838px;">Steve searching for his lost euro in Lauzerte</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">GREAT NEWS .... NEW BOOK</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">However, the great news is, that before
I can settle down to work in earnest on my sequel, I have another book of a
different kind, due for release in July 2015. When Steve and I moved to Gozo
from the UK, I recorded our exploits as a blog. After receiving great
encouragement from people all around the world who had read it, I decided to
shape it into a book. As with my debut
novel, I had the support of Faraxa Books in publishing the work. You will be
able to read all about our reasons for leaving the UK and discover why we chose
Gozo – which if I’m totally honest, I lived in ignorance of, prior to 2008. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">The book is entitled, <i>Gozo; Is the Grass Greener?</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">The book asks the question, “Is the
Grass Greener?” not only in relation to our move to another country, but also
in our relationship with each other. Steve and I have both been married before
and I take time to reflect on this, and on how we met, within the narrative. For
dog lovers, there are many anecdotes in regard to our 2 wonderful and now sadly
missed lurchers, Ollie and Ralph. Add to this, may tales of our lives in Gozo,
and you have a book which I am confident will have wide appeal for many people.
I have aimed to strike a balance between what I hope is some, laugh out loud
humour, and more sombre stories – and I warn you ……. you may need your hankie
for one or two of them! <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Our lovely lurchers, Ollie and Ralph</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">I am very pleased to report that the
talented Michael Martin illustrated the book cover. Working from an abstract idea,
which I had in mind, Michael has captured exactly the scenario I envisioned for
the book cover, and I cannot wait to unveil it </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 14pt;">J</span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;"> Michael is currently, the illustrator
of Alex Graham’s Fred Basset cartoons, which I read avidly as a child. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">I will, of course, continue to promote <i>Known to Social Services,</i> and I am
delighted to report that on a recent visit to a lovely couple who had some
items of interest for sale, I was able to sign the lady’s newly purchased copy
of <i>Known to Social Services.</i> The
first signed copy in France to my knowledge!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">In the beautiful sunshine of France with Hazel and her signed copy of Known to Social Services.</span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Gozo; Is the Grass Greener?</span></i><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;"> Will be available in July 2015 and is published by
Faraxa Books.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Lucida Handwriting'; font-size: 18pt;">Freya<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15760251169259291895noreply@blogger.com0Midi-Pyrénées, France44.0859426 1.520862399999941841.1525801 -3.6427116000000579 47.019305100000004 6.6844363999999414tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6410779310389235912.post-75388872613484782092015-05-28T21:58:00.000-07:002015-05-28T21:58:43.985-07:00Known to Social Services; Changing People's Views on Social Work<br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">My debu</span><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">t novel,
Known to Social Services, continues to provoke comment and discussion, the vast
majority of which, I am pleased to say, is positive. I am particularly happy
about this, as one of the motivators for writing the book was to raise the
profile of social workers and allow the general public a glimpse into the day-to-day
life of a social worker. Many readers
have told me that they had “no idea” what social workers really did until they
read Known to Social Services. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Often stereotyped and negatively
portrayed, especially in the media; most people’s idea of a social worker is a
female in a flowing kaftan, dangly earrings and sandals who is doling out tea
and sympathy in a totally ineffective manner. Alternatively, we are seen as spiky
haired, judgemental busybodies who have no people skills, but who simply breeze
in and out of people’s lives, snatching children away from their parents as
they go. Male social workers are
outnumbered by their female counterparts, but do not escape; they are seen as
tweed wearing individuals with leather elbow patches, who might even smoke a
pipe. They are foggy in their thinking and faltering and hesitant when it comes
to taking action.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">I am extremely satisfied to learn that
Known to Social Services, has in some small way, set the record straight in
this regard. Some readers, who have been literally wide eyed with incredulity
on having finished the book have told me that they “take their hats off to
social workers if this is what it’s really like”, and it is …… ask any social
worker. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">On a more serious note, I was
approached at a book signing by a worried student of social work who had read
the book. She asked me, “Is it really like this?” I had to be honest and tell
her that while I had brought together many “worst case scenarios”, the job of
child protection, was in fact, pretty much like the book. She thought for a
moment before telling me, “Then I think I’m going into the wrong job”. Far from
being horrified to think that <i>Known to
Social Services</i> had ruined this poor young woman’s career choice, I was of
the view that it was better to find out early in her training, rather than
embarking on a job, which she herself did not feel able to do. Many newly
qualified social workers, me included, have found themselves totally unprepared
for the reality of the job. I firmly believe, that alongside all the theory
books and the practical placements, there is great value in works of fact-based
fiction such as <i>Known to Social Services</i>.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">I am aware that <i>Known to Social Services</i> has been, or is going to be, read in
several social work book groups. This is a great honour, and I hope that
students and qualified social workers alike can benefit from the experiences,
which are told in narrative in the book. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">A recent article by the Northern Ireland
Social Care Council endorsed the use of social work book groups. The full
article can be found by following the link below. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">http://www.niscc.info/index.php/news/8-news/294-social-work-book-groups-are-useful-learning-tool-for-social-workers<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">My advice to the young woman’s dilemma was
to advise her that there are many roles within social work, not all of which
require you to work on the front line of child protection, though some
experience in this field is essential. I urged her to consider all her options
before making any drastic decisions, but felt once again, that the book had
enlightened someone as to the reality of the job.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">In the book, the central character is
social worker, Diane Foster, who is hardworking, dedicated, and completely
focused on her role as a voice for the children she supports and represents. One
of the young people Diane is striving to help is 15-year-old Jessica Jackson. Readers
have asked me if Jessica was “real”. While <i>Known
to Social Services</i> is based on my personal experiences as a social worker,
it is of course fictionalised with all identities protected. Jessica’s character is a blend of several
cases I worked, which involved emotionally confused teenage girls. Sad to say,
many such cases do not have good outcomes. However, I would like to close this
blog by telling you about one case, which did have a positive end result.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">One young woman I worked with was like
Jessica Jackson, in that she had moved around the care system for several
years, and at 15 years of age, had become embroiled with the wrong crowd. Like
Jessica in the story, I felt that this young woman, who I shall call Karen,
needed a secure placement for her own safety and welfare. Karen was using class
A drugs and was known to be working as a prostitute to support her habit. She
constantly ran away from foster placements, which prompted the Local Authority
placed her “out of county” – miles from the bad influences and her unhelpful
family, in the hope that a fresh start may help. It didn’t. Karen continued to
spiral downward, until the Local Authority was left with no choice but to apply
for a secure order. I had campaigned for a secure placement for many weeks, but
the courts quite rightly require a great deal of evidence to convince them,
that depriving a young person of their liberty is in their best interest.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">I presented Karen’s case to a panel,
and was asked where she was at that precise moment. I knew that she was once
again on the run, and likely to come to further harm if action was not taken.
The order was agreed in principal, and when it was presented in court, the
judge was of the same view. The problem then, was finding Karen who had once
again, made herself scarce.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">The police were involved, and to cut a
long story short, she was finally “caught” after a chase through a local
supermarket. At the police station, Karen was highly agitated, and violent. She
threw anything she could lay her hands on at me, including her dinner, and
screamed abuse for what seemed like forever. However, we had her safe, and
transported her to the secure unit where she would remain for 3 months. It was
her last hope of making some sense of her sadly messed up life. I visited Karen
regularly; at first, she refused to speak to me, but slowly, she and I began to
build a relationship. It was a fragile thing at first, but gradually, she came
to trust me and understood I was actually on her side, though it didn’t seem
that way in the beginning. I did a lot of direct play therapy with Karen and
was delighted to see positive changes in her. She was in a drug rehabilitation
group, where she became the star member. She put on much needed weight and
engaged in groups with other girls, designed to build up her shattered self-esteem.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Karen was rehabilitated into the
community 3 months later and managed to stay in a loving stable foster home.
Her case was passed to the long term care team and that was the end of my
involvement with Karen …… or so I thought.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Three years later, I arrived at work to
find a letter on my desk; it was from Karen. She wrote to say that she was now
18 years old. She had a steady boyfriend and a job. She was expecting her first
baby later that year. Karen wrote to say that she had hated me with a passion.
She hated all social workers, but after being in the unit for those 3 months,
she realised that I was on her side and was trying to help. She was writing to
say thank you. The spelling was poor, the writing wonky and the grammar
appalling, but I have never had a sweeter letter in my life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 14pt;">Social work; it has its highs and its
lows and if I’m honest the lows often seem to outweigh the highs, but when you
get a “Karen” – it makes it all worthwhile and you go out and do it all again,
always hoping that the next child is another Karen. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: 'Segoe Script', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt;">Freya<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15760251169259291895noreply@blogger.com0St Clair France49.192572 -1.029272999999989249.151059499999995 -1.1099539999999892 49.2340845 -0.94859199999998922